2011, The Year in Review!

2011 has been an amazing year! I lived my first year after the death of my mother and I lived My first year after the death of my first career.  Well maybe my second career.  My first and ongoing career is motherhood.

These deaths were painful and put me in a position to draw upon a glimmering light of inspiration. I began 2011 determined to live the heart of my dreams.  This gave me energy to move forward, because I felt really hopeless at times.  I think I was successful, but as usual only God knows how life will unfold.

One of my hearts desires in 2011 was to be an entrepreneur. This dream was realized and I had many early successes! As my need for doing things correctly and in order would have it, I had to get additional education. The education I am enjoying, but it is taking my business three steps backwards, before it goes forward!

I believe my training is necessary. I am going with the flow, although it is frustrating. The term bitter sweet is very appropriate.

The other most significant event occurred in my spiritual life. My desire to live without denial has created a distance between me and the church (building). I have already written about the behaviors I disagree with in church, but now my disagreement, even anger is directed at the establishment itself.

One of my goals in 2012 is to find Biblical answers to the problems I have with church (the building). I will share more about this in future posts.

Overall 2011 has been a phenomenal year! I have grown, learned and looked fear in the face and said, "Step the f--- off!" I am excited to step into a new year and be apart of everything that God has waiting for me.  Empowerment is exhilarating!

I have made up my mind to make 2012 a year with NO LIMITS!!!! How are you going to live 2012?

Make some long and short terms goals and live each one of the 365 ahead to make them a reality!
photo via tomatotalk.earthfare.com via Google images

The Thanksgiving and Peace of Choice!

I received several invitations for Thanksgiving dinner today.  It was nice to have people willing to open their homes and share the joy of breaking bread together.  I could have even cooked and had my small, but loving family over.  However this year I made a conscious choice to be at peace!

Some of the invitations I got were from loving families, but I did not know them very well.  I didn't want to put myself in the awkward position of being around strangers on the Thanksgiving.  I could have went to a relatives, but they are not close family.  There would have been moments of uneasiness along with along with forced smiles.

Cooking on the holidays can be stressful, especially when you make EVERYTHING from scratch!  Shopping and being in the kitchen all day was not an appealing option this year.  I love my family and I love to cook, but this year I am taking a time out.  I encouraged my family to make other plans this year and I know they are having a great time! 

This Thanksgiving 2011, I decided to hang out at home and be at peace.  I decided not to put myself in a position that would make me uncomfortable or stressed.  I decided to work on some projects, watch some good movies and nibble on some of my favorite foods.

I contentment I feel is oure serenity, joy and it makes me smile.  I stayed true to myself and I am glad about it!

I am thankful and Empowered because I know the power of choosing!

Here are some other reasons I am thankful!

1. God and my Savior Jesus Christ!
2. I have peace of mind!
3. I have an amazing daughter!
4. I have a dad that loves me!
5. Empowered Peace readers!
6. Knowledge!
7. I have things, moments and people to be thankful for in my life!
8. Occupy Wall Street raised awareness and Empowered people to stand!
9. I own my feelings!
10. Oprah's Life Class!
11. The author's that share their words in great books!
12. Facebook and Twitter!
13. Healing!
14. A better diet!
15. My mom is no longer suffering!

These are just a few things in my life that cause me to be thankful.  Why are you thankful today?
photo via chasemor.wordpress.com via Google images

Adult Bullying- It Happens, Exisits and it Hurts Like Hell!

I began to write about a different subject, but my heart is lingering in a different place.  I have found myself once again the victim of unwanted bullying and it hurts!

Yes, I am an Empowered woman, a strong woman and a woman that won't quit, yet I find myself weakened by the onslaught of whispers, looks, laughter and jeers. 

I find it difficult to get close to people that may or may not be aware of what is happening.  You see my bully quickly befriends them and fills their head with poisonous lies.  I find myself evaluating if getting close and then having them turn away from me suddenly is worth the trouble.

I know that I am not the only person who is suffering from the woes of adult bullying.  I hope that my words and admission give you courage and strength.  You are not alone and either am I! 

The Dilemma

I have considered speaking to people in authority, but the reality is I may be perceived as the trouble maker.  I may not be taken seriously or they my choose to sweep my concerns under the rug.  I am not willing to risk another negative outcome at this point.

Confronting my bully is a waste of time.  They know what they are doing and find pleasure in my pain.  I am not willing to risk more ridicule and lies at this point.

The truth is I feel helpless and I feel like I have no one and no where to turn.  I have been chonically bullied on and off over the years.  Frankly I am tired and just want to quit!  I do not want to be in this situation.  I do not want to be subjected to this shame for a year, but my current location is a part of my long term goal. 

I hate to let others ruin this for me, but I am spent!  The hateful evilness I have endured over the years has wore me down.

What is an Empowered Person to Do?

At this point I will continue on my journey.  It hurts like hell and I even shed tears.  The road ahead may be rocky and even inflict emotional and mental wounds that will take years to heal.  Be that as it may, I value the education I am getting and will endure the shit to reach my goal.

This isn't anything that me, God and Oprah can't handle (said with an honest smile). 

I will keep you updated along the way.  If you are experiencing bullying, you are not alone!  Pull yourself together, cry if you must but do not quit or give up on you!

photo via umbrella-d.com via Google images





Breaking Dysfunctional Family Ties to Live an Empowered Life

In life people tend to be repetitive!  This is most evident in the relationships that shape the quality of a person's life.  The times that are most fulfilling are normally connected to positive work relationships, supportive partners and good, fun friends.  They bring out the best in everyone and cultivate growth.  Unfortunately, many vital relationships are warped because of dysfunctional family ties.

These dysfunctional family relationships are systems people do not choose.  They have a profound effect on how people interact with one another.  If a person holds the position of "the smart one" in the family, they tend to be "the smart one" in group situations.

It is like a script that is played out or a movie that is ran over and over again.  I have felt the pain of a dysfunctional cycle in my own life.  No matter how hard I tried to change the people I associated with, change the settings and even try to change my approach, nothing stopped the cycle.

I found myself in a subservient position.  Closed into unhappy positions that did not allow me to share my gifts and talents.  It was always that one one person that came along and destroyed what was happy.  I would feel lost, powerless and helpless, just waiting for someone to stop my tormentor. 

Each time my movie played, I would learn something new.  Many times God teaches us slowly and gently.  The last great lesson was the family.  I had a person in my family that treated me as a second class citizen.  I learned to assume my position each time she arrived.  This pattern was ingrained in me and I didn't even know it! 

I began to reflect upon my childhood and similar experiences.  I found one common denominator.  The family member that always keep me under thumb.  The family member that always needed attention, the family member that always needed people to hate me.  This was the same person, but she wounded me in many ways.

It began at such a young age that it became part of my makeup.  Such a natural part of my interpersonal relationships, that I did not recognize it was wrong until years later.  Years into my adulthood.  Years into abusive relationships. 

When I realized what was happening I knew I needed to stop the madness.  I made contact with the family member that punished me for living.  They refused to meet me face to face and never said sorry.  I wanted to tell them how their mistreatment poisoned my relationships.  I wanted to say that their hate for me wasn't love.  I want to say that I was making a choice to be free and that I knew I was a good, loving person. 

I refuse to be afraid of people similar to her.  They have pissed on everything that is important to me long enough.  I refuse to allow this falsehood to inform my life and relationships.  It is not always perfect, but it is much, much better.

Finding the courage to break poisonous family ties is the first step to healthy relationships.  It is possible to find real, solid relationships.  It simply takes rooting out the lies of the past and then replacing them with truth.

You have the right to be in control of your life.  You have the right to shine and the right to have people love you.  Let your dysfunctional family members put their trash in the garbage, not you!

It is never too late!  Empower yourself and reclaim your life!

photo via ilovemybaby.org via Google images

Repost: Teenage Bullying Needs to Stop! The Problem and Real Solutions!

The subject of suicide is usually discussed after a tragic event.  The schools gather students, parents and counselor's together in an attempt to prevent lawsuits, follow protocol and to keep the loud opinionated parents quiet.  This sounds cynical, but where were these sessions of love when the victim needed help?  The schools and parents will say they were doing the best they could.  "We have a tight budget and can only provide limited services."  "We had to work and we did not know things were this bad."  "I knew he was upset, but I thought he would be okay."

As a parent, I have to admit, suicide is a subject that has rarely been covered.  I am a part of the majority and we think our children are perfect little angels.  We think our children never swear, use drugs, drink or have sex behind our backs.  It is this kind of thinking that puts our children in danger.  It is this kind of thinking that approves school budgets without proper support for our children.  It is this kind of thinking that makes it impossible to have honest conversations with ourselves, spouses, children, teachers and others.  We walk around with blinders on as our children are crumbling right in front of our eyes.

Center for Disease Control, Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (2009)

13.8% of high school students have seriously considered attempting suicide
26.1% of high school students felt sad or hopeless.
10.9% of high school students made a plan of how they were going to attempt suicide
6.3% of high school students actually attempted suicide 

These statistics tell me parents and schools should be more proactive.  Teenagers that do drugs and struggle with depression seem to be the likely suspects.  However the research shows more and more lesbian and gay teenagers are turning to suicide. 

What is the Problem?

Grades have become a greater concern than the emotional well-being or character building of our children.  Parents compete and brag about the accomplishments of their children.  Some parents are even compelled to lie and find it embarrassing when they perceive their children as inadequate.  Schools are trying to maintain numbers and are focused on maintaining educational standards.  But what about the children all this is being done for?  Is the business of trying to elevate them alienating them?  The spiritual and psycho-social development of our youth is being neglected.

If you do not see these videos, they must be viewed on the Empowered Peace Website

A video written and performed by this talented teen via YouTube

Solutions

1. Family.  Families are broken.  Single parents, teen parents, grand parents raising their grandchildren do not have SUPPORT!  The foundation of a family is two parents working together.  Most families rely on two incomes, but if you have children try to sacrifice.  One parent stay at home and create a home.  If you are single you can still designate a family day.  Eat dinner together without the television.  It may seem awkward at first but your children will feel more loved.  They will feel they are apart of something that matters.  
2. Talk to schools and government.  Let them know about your concerns and ask them what they are doing about the problem.  Write letters to your senators and mayors about teen suicide.  Create programs in school.  For example, instead of having homeroom, have Homeroom.  A class period that students have a safe place to discuss their problems on a daily basis.  
3. Parents work out your emotional disconnections.  You can have family time, but without a real space for emotional growth, it will not work.  Parents look at yourselves and deal with your past hurts, insecurities and fears.  As you heal, you can better handle the needs of your children.
4. God.  Invite God into your family.  There are some things man can not fix. 

Signs a Teenager could be Suicidal

• They talk about suicide.  Even if it seems to be a joke.
• They are having problems in school with bullies.
• A change in personality. 
• They are using drugs and/or alcohol.
• They give away their important belongings. 
• They write or journal about death. 
• Appearing depressed or sad most of the time. 

National Suicide Prevention Help Line
1-800-suicide
1-800-784-2433

Resources for Suicide Prevention and Information

suicide.org

MedicineNet.org: Teens, Parents Underestimate Teen Suicide Risk

KidsHealth- from the health experts of Nemours

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: Teen Suicide 

American Academy of Pediatrics: Preventing Teen Suicide

photos via: health.ninemsn.com.au, the-parents-magazine.com, us.reachout.com, troubledteenhome.net via Google images

Remembering 9/11- 10 Years Later

I feel such sadness remembering 9/11.  Even as I write this article my eyes are filled with tears. 

The days prior to this infamous anniversary, I debated if I would watch programs of the horrible footage.  I struggled with even allowing my mind to ponder the somber realities of death and shattered lives.

In the end I decided I must be true to myself and my country.  I am remembering 9/11 and it hurts like hell. 

I think I am crying more today, then I did 10 years ago.  10 years ago it seemed that the world just stopped.  The only thing I wanted was my daughter in my arms and to be in front of the television.  As the years have passed our country has and continues to rebuild itself.  I feel safer walking down the street, but I remember being frighted to open my mail or ofgoing into large public building.  Time has a strange way of soothing pain and erasing fear.

If you are remembering 9/11 today it is okay to cry.  It is okay to be angry and it is even okay to smile.  Take your energy and put into something positive.  Here are a few suggestions.

1. Thank a soldier
2. Donate your time or money to a 9/11 charity
3. Call a friend and share your feelings
4. Pray
5. Get more involved with politics
6. Write a letter to a soldier
7. Thank God that America is still standing!

God Bless America!
photo via uncoverage.net via Google images

Have You Considered Why Adults Have Babies?

I think most mature adults would agree, parenthood should begin with two adults.  Adults that are financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually capable of nurturing a helpless infant.  Two adults that are focused on building a solid family.  There must be a reason God ordained our childbearing years after infancy and adolescence.

I know there are exceptions to the rules and life happens.  But what if...

Could it be that children need the experience of seasoned humans to learn from?  Could it be that children need the wisdom and knowledge their parents?  Could it be that children do NOT need immature parents polluting their childhood?  Have you ever considered why childbearing happens after infancy and adolescence?

If you still have childish habits and are raising a child, consider changing your ways...

photo via people.emich.edu via Google images

Meeting Life's Challenges is the Road to Success

What is a queen without a kingdom?  What is a warrior without a battle?  What is a husband without a wife?  What is a mother without a child?  What is a writer without a story?  What is a musician without an instrument?  What is a lover without a partner?  What is a solution without a problem?

All of these images embody the emptiness one experiences when life's challenges are not overcome.  It seems that the pain comes from defeat, but it runs much deeper.  It is also the God given gifts inside of you yearning for an outlet.

The other side of the challenge is the kingdom, the battle, the wife, the child, the story, the instrument, the partner, the problem.  It is the playground for your gifts and talents to exercise, grow and be free. 

These challenges are most significant in the lives of people that have determined goals in life.  The ability to maintain excellence when a goal is met, is developed along the way, through challenges.  When I was a new hospital chaplain, I was constantly confronted with challenging situations.  I had to overcome many fears to be successful in my job.  I found myself growing and doing more than I ever dreamed.

Then came the big challenge!  I was filled with fear and distress.  I was unable to effectively rise to this challenge and my growth was redirected.  I no longer had a hospital for my chaplaincy gifts and talents.  I had to self-reflect and decide if my dream was worth overcoming my fear. 

Meeting this challenge is something I approach with nervousness, but I realize it is the only way to reach my ultimate goal.  And the only way to pull out more of the substance God gave me to function in my purpose. 

The Message

The message I want you get...treat life's challenges as an oven.  After you put all the ingredients of your dreams and goals together...let the challenges of life bake the perfect cake!

The challenge is not comfortable, but without it you will not have the necessary tool to finish your dream.  Realize it is an opportunity to become the best, Empowered you possible!

photo via jerecro721.wordpress.com via Google images

Who are You Letting Get The Best of You? Stop The Madness!

There are times in life when you allow people to lie to you.  You know that they are full of it, but you let it slide.  You know someone is making a fool of you, but you allow the whole scene to take place.  Why?  Why are you letting people get the best of you?

It is in these moments of surrender that positive energy is seeped away.  Every good thing is compromised in the moment and instant opinions are formed.  If you want people to respect you, why do you let them get the best of you?

I was recently in a situation and I let someone lie to me, or at least blow me off and give me a bull$hit answer.  As I reflected upon it, I had to ask myself why.  I conducted myself with respect for  45 minutes, but in a moment I compromised it all. 

The meeting had a positive outcome, but I allowed some of my power to be taken.  I allowed someone to lie to me.  I did it because of their title.  They were in a position of authority and I had the crazy notion allowing this lie to pass somehow honored them.  This came from a place of oppressed thinking.

Not so!  I have the right and the responsibility to only allow truth into my space.  This is how to contain real power and infuse fresh energy into your life.  There is not any honor in letting people get the better of you.  You are not doing them or yourself any favors.  Stop the madness and shut a door of chaos in your life.

This does not guarantee every situation will work in your favor, but it will protect your personal space and keep it sacred and clean.

When you suspect a lie is being offered here are some ways to handle the situation:

1. Ask for clarification.  Let the person or people know you need more information to understand.  There is not a reason to be rude, but be firm and polite.
2. If you are still unhappy with the answer, share your opinion.  Part of good communication is helping people understand your position.  You can not control another man's actions, but you can conduct your own.  
3. You have a choice.  You can participate based on something you do not believe to be true or you can say "no."  You do not have to willingly subject yourself to compromising situations that can cause you harm.  
4. You can let them know you do not believe their statement.  The truth never hurts, but always use wisdom.

Life can be tough and it is important not to let anyone willing get the best of you.  Be Empowered and stop the madness!

A Response to A Cherished Reader- How to Deal with Unapproachable People

I love all of my readers, at least the ones that are reading because they are growing and support me with with a sincere heart.  My article Unfinished Business- Having Really Hard and Sometimes Scary Conversations had the following comment:
This was a nice article but I would have liked to see more suggestions on how to approach or at least pray for the unapproachable. I want to have real relationships and eliminate the phony.

The desire to have real relationships is the start of owning them.  If you have had a background of being surrounded by shady people that gain their glory from your humiliation, learning who to trust can be difficult.  A good way to recognize a connection that is causing destruction in your life is to observe.  Here are some things to be aware of:

1. You are experiencing trouble in your key relationships.  All of a sudden people that you once clicked with begin to distance themselves.  You do not know why, but it is obvious there is a problem.  Real friends and supporters willing tell you when someone is toying with your life.  If they are not will to share their concerns or believe lies and do not share backstabbing rumors, take them off of your list of supporters.  You can pray for them by asking God to remove the confusion the enemy has caused.
2. People know or think they know information about your personal life that you did not share.  This is a clear sign that someone is spreading rumors about you.  It may not be easy to find the person behind the lies, but it is a good chance they are right under your nose.  Another scary thing to consider is the technology in today's world.  People have the ability to hack e-mails, Facebook accounts, twitter accounts, hear your cell phone conversations and even use the cameras on your computer to see what you are doing at home.  It amazes me that people would be that intrusive, but there are not boundaries for some people.  
3. You experience a change in yourself and your confidence begins to fail.  Continued harassment can destroy your confidence.  You begin to question yourself, the way you dress, your hair, paranoid about little things like your nails and continually wonder how people are thinking of you.  You have to turn this negative energy around and use it root out problem people.
4. They will try to convince you and everyone else that you are crazy.  If people believe your crazy then they will not believe anything you say.  The harassment that is real will be turned into a figment of your imagination by the perpetrator.  Then you become the problem.  If everyone is looking at you, the bully has a clear path to do what he or she wants.  They are the crazy ones for attempting to destroy the life God created.  It is the biggest insult to God and it will not go unpunished by Him.  This is classic scenario played out in every movie genre.  It is the theme is 1 out of every 3 Lifetime movies and yes it happens in real life!

These are just a few things you may notice.  Once you determine there is an unapproachable person in your life you have to face your fears.  You have to decide you want to control your own life and take back your power.  

It is very intimidating when you have to stand up to a person that seems unstoppable.  They become larger than life and trying to defend yourself seems pointless.  You have to dig deep inside and let these cowards know you are aware of what they are doing.  

1. You will not die by sticking up to your bully.  It can be scary, you may cry or even lose your words.  But once you do it once the second time is much easier.  Let them know you are not afraid and that what they are doing is wrong.
2. Write out what you are going to say.  Try to prepare ahead of time.  Write out what you are going to say and how your unapproachable person may react.  Then decide how you are going to react to their actions.
3. Let other people know it is their responsibility to help.  Bullies survive in a world of secrecy.  People are aware but do not want to be a snitch or be made fun of themselves.  Let the people who are enabling know it it their silence that allows destructive behavior to continue.  
4. Be strong!  If harassment continues seek legal help.
5. Move yourself to a healthy environment.  If you are unable to get the situation under control, leave.  There is no reason why you should have to endure bad behavior.  Life is short and making connections with people that will support you is a better way to spend your energy.

Remember you are not alone!  You are not weak and making a decision to take control of your life is the beginning of turning things around! 

photo via managemypractice.com

The Good Girl Must Die!

A one dimensional person is lying to themselves.  No one is all good all the time.  As a woman I thought it was my place be good, even during my years of being a "bad girl" I still had a persona within my group as a "good girl."  There were certain lines I did not cross because I needed to be "good."

What is a good girl or person?  A person that lives their lives believing they are walking a saint.  They do everything to live up too society's definition of a good woman.  They continually deny their true feelings and act upon being liked by others.  It is a life full of artificial connections, fake smiles and suppressed emotions.  The "good girl" must die!

My good girl delusions were broken when a bully began spreading rumors about me.  They said I was a whore, liar and anything else vile and evil which exists.  I never knew exactly what was said, but I knew my image was damaged.  I was crushed because I had lived to be everything pure and in line with Jesus.  The only problem was I was denying my authentic self and did not even realize it!

I thought being humble and overlooking the bad behavior of another person made me a better person.  I thought because I made the choice of waiting for sex until married made me pure and holy.  I thought suffering the abuse of a-holes was something to be endured until God pulled me out of the situation.  I thought never getting angry was good.

How wrong!  The good girl must die!  The good girl image holds women in invisible prisons of piety.  No one ever has to worry about the good girl fulfilling her dreams.  She will live her life bond in a stagnant swap of "good enough."  It is time to kill the good girl and embrace your entire being.

As a woman you have all kinds of feelings, thoughts, desires and needs.  Society tells us that certain wants and needs are bad because good girls are not like this or that.  Not true!  Women have the right to experience the fullness of our existence and this can not be done if everything about you is being denied.

At one time in my life, I saw the world as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad.  But now I am realizing life if full of shades of gray.  Harsh stringent standards create impossible rules for anyone to fulfill.  Living in the gray and accepting yourself as less than perfect is the only way to breath and experience the gratification of being you.

I am certainly not telling you to start cussing everyone out that ticks you off or encouraging you to have sex with strange people.  I am telling you that your thoughts and feelings are normal!  And embracing all of you and being okay with yourself just the way you are kills the good girl.

This is how you get started:

1. Realize your emotions are not evil.  We all have feelings.  Feelings of love, hate, desire, lust, envy, happiness and sorrow.  It is a part of what makes us human.  Emotions are gifts from God.  They allow us to understand how situations are effecting us.  When we understand how we feel, we can act appropriately.  Not based on our feelings, but based on our values.   If your feelings conflict with your beliefs, explore it! Don't ignore it!  Be available to yourself to make adjustments and changes when necessary.  Remember you are on a journey and should be evolving all of the time.
2. Know your values.  You should know what is important to you and make decisions to uphold and protect these things in your life.  If you have to be mean or fight for what you believe in, it is okay.  Be true to yourself!
3. It is okay to be different. Many times the desire to fit kills your ability to be your authentic self.  It is okay to be different.  If it were not God would have made us all the same.  Instead of going along with the crowd, have the courage to stick your values and beliefs.  If you are the only one wearing red shorts at the gas station with white strips and everyone is moved by your fashion statement, be happy!  

Now go kill the good girl and be complete and whole.  That good girl is empty and miserable, yearning for the day she can be bold and beautiful.  Make that day today! 
photo via sharewithaline.wordpress.com via Google images

Your Opinion has Power When You Believe in You!

One of the most Empowering understandings a person can own is the value of their opinion.  This is important because when you know that your opinion matters, the negative opinions of others will not matter.  When the negative opinions of others do not matter to you, they can not damage you!

I had an Empowering moment that made me smile.  I was thinking about how terrible I was treated by a group of people.  This was not a lingering thought, it was a repetitive thought that was very upsetting to me.  I wondered why these people did not like me.  I wondered why they listened to lies and rumors.  I wondered why they treated me so cruelly.  I wondered why they spiritually and emotionally abused me.  I wondered why my tears and pain did not matter to them and even made them happy.  I wondered why they always questioned me.  I wondered why they hated me.  Then I thought Why do I care?  I wondered why am I wasting my energy and time trying prove my quality and loyalty to these people.  Why would I want to be where I am disrespected? 

I thought why do I need such horrible people to like me.  I thought why do I need such cowards to have my back.  why do I want such liars and followers that have never showed me any compassion to love me or even like me?  Why do I care? 

What really matters is how I think of them.  I do not respect them.  I do not like them.  I do not want these kind of people in my life.  I do not want to continue to sell my self short because I put value in their twisted lies.  My opinion matters!  My beliefs matter!  This is when I took my power back! 

You have to live by your own set of beliefs and truths and know that they matter.  When you live by the opinions of others you give them power over your life.  I was in a place where I actually needed the validation of others to feel whole.  The truth is I can leave when people do not want me.  The truth is I can leave when I do not want others.  Why would anyone want to be in a painful place full of torment?

My situation involves a stalker/abuser/bully that poisons situations in my life.  It took me a long time to realize this and now I know to look past the actions of others and seek out the cause.  I know their is a cancerous person that has implanted themselves in my life and must go!  But it took me believing my myself and knowing the value of my own opinion to see the evil work of another.  What is your story? 

When you own the value of your opinion you will see clearly.  When you see clearly you can make the necessary changes to rebuild your life and rid it of poisonous people with negative opinions. 
photo via cr4.globalspec.com via Google images

Suppressed Memories Can Be The Breadcrumbs of Life

Have you ever had an event happen in your life over and over again?  Have you ever wondered why good situations turn bad?  Have you ever wondered why people hurt you, even when you think they are good?  I have got a hunch! 

When traumatic events happen in your childhood they can set the course for the rest of your life.  I believe that even though the road can be painful, when you can see the origin of the patten you can be set free. 

Blocking out traumatic memories is a defense mechanism.  However, traces of the event resurface themselves in strange ways.  They can come back in the form of relationships, eating disorders, poverty or drug addiction.  A person can be scared and running and never even know why.  A horrible as some of the ways these memories play out, they can be bread crumbs that lead you home.

Once you see the reason why painful events occur you can begin to heal, find solutions and move forward. 

Unfinished Business- Having Really Hard and Sometimes Scary Conversations

It is difficult to be around people that stir feelings of anger, pain, grief or feelings of resentment within you.  There is usually tension in the air, very little trust and resolving simple day to day happenings seems impossible.  These situations can occur in our lives because of unfinished business. 

I got this epiphany while watching Oprah, Behind the Scenes.  One of her guests was late and caused the staff to make arrangements with other guests and audiences.  It was a big mess because other obstacles presented themselves.  This caused a rift between Oprah and the guest because Oprah did not understand why her guest would cause these problems.  Oprah confronted her guest, off camera, and got the answers she needed to be at peace.  They proceeded to have a good show and positive relationship after the show.

This situation really resonated with me.  I thought how many times have I let people hurt me and never say anything.  I have to continue to be around some of these people and the relationship goes to crap!  I do not trust the person and everything they do is perceived to be a personal attack.  The other person probably has harsh feelings towards me as well.  How can you trust someone that is withholding and gives you phony smiles.

How much wasted time and energy!  It can be very frightening to confront people when they offend you.  You are unsure of how they will react, and most times you just want people to like you.  The problem is the unresolved feelings do not go away!  They fester and grow into bigger problems and eventually the relationship is destroyed.

Taking a swallow and a deep breath, then going forward to discuss your feelings is purifying!  It allows you to let go of negative energy and do something constructive.  What you are really doing is creating an environment of understanding.  When people understand each other relationships grow and prosper.  Take care of your unfinished business and hurt feelings with others!  A power nugget to living an Empowered life!
photo via: miladayteam.blogspot.com via Google images

Learning How to Find Financial Freedom- Stop Going Around the Mountain!

It has been a very busy time in my life.  I have been focusing on my new business and working hard to nurture its care.  If you have not had a chance check out Donna's Dollhouse! 

One of the biggest concerns people have in their lives is money!  Struggling from paycheck to paycheck and wondering how to breakthrough the confinement of financial oppression.  I have had a love hate relationship with money.  I have been extremely poor and extremely well off.  I have spent more time in the red, and I would personally like to turn this around.

At this time in my life, the finances are tight.  Many factors have played into this.  Unemployment, a lack of knowledge about how money should be used, being surrounded by people that bring me down and an overall ignorance of money in general. 

Empowerment means taking responsibility for all areas of my life.  It is easy to blame others, and I have had some really terrible things done to me.  These people should be held accountable, but it is up to me to make sure it does not happen again.  Life lessons can take time and I have gone around many mountains for years.  Stepping out in a new direction takes courage and an internal decision to not take it anymore!

Poverty is something I do not want to take anymore!  I believe dreams do come true and this is not any different.  I guess I equate poverty to being overweight.  People struggle for years trying to lose weight.  They go on diets and spend money, time and effort on plans that do not work.  When a person finally loses weight, they say it was a lifestyle change.  I have to make a lifestyle change concerning money! 

I have to admit, I do not know where to begin, but I know I have to have a plan!  Here is my plan:

1. Read a financial website.  I am going to start reading "The Wallstreet Journal" or the best free, reputable online financial publication I can find.  This will be like reading a foreign language to me, but I will look up terms, be patient with myself and learn as I go.
2. I am going to put $5 a month in a savings account.  This does not sound like a lot of money, but it is to me!  I am really feeling the tension in the Michigan economy.  The other reason for putting this money in the bank is forming a habit!  
3. Find a financial Adviser.  I am going to set up some appointments and find an adviser.  They may laugh at me or think I am crazy when they see my finances, but I do not care.  The main thing is finding someone I can trust, someone that believes in me and someone that takes me seriously.  
4. Pray!  I need the Lord to guide me in this and give me wisdom!  

If you are trying to turn your bank account into something that gives you resources instead of headaches, it only takes your decision.  You are not alone!

Abuse Does Not Define You- Your Perspecitve Defines You!

A person (man or woman) that has experienced long term abuse may see the world different than you.  Emotional, spiritual, physical and mental abuse teach a person that they are powerless.  They are taught that they are second class and having nice things are for others.

It is an internal prison that traps the victim's thinking and causes them to subject themselves to abusive people.  It is a wonderful thing when abused people are able to get out of terrible situations.  Unfortunately the trauma can latch onto every aspect of their life.

A person can become victimized by the world, until a self realization of their worth is experienced.  It is an incredible revelation, but one muddled with grief.  The same moment a person understands how worthy they really are, they realize how much of their life has been damaged. 

This stirs feelings of anger, sadness, loss and confusion.  It is important to work through these emotions.  It is also important to get to the important business of living a life of personal value! 

I want you to know that if you have been abused you are valuable.  You are not supposed to live a life subject to and surrounded by mean people.  Don't be afraid to take control of your life and be the person God created!  It is never too late to change your perspective and remove yourself from abuse.  50 is not too old, 80 is not to old, 18 is not to late and at 25 you are not washed up.  You have one life!  Live it to the fullest!
photo via iron.lcc.gatech.edu via Google images

Be Yourself and Take the Weight of The World off Your Shoulders!

Have you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders?  Have you ever felt overwhelmed and sad, but did not know why?  Many of you have, but sadly did not realize it until the pressures or burdens of life were lifted.  The busy lives of most people consist of internal and external expectations that are out of balance. 

One of the biggest contributors to this lack of equilibrium is inaccurate thinking.  The belief that you are making the people around you happy or sad.  You are not responsible for another person's feelings.  Acting out of this belief is exhausting and will cause you to abandon the true you!  How can you be true to yourself if you believe your actions are fulfilling another person's existence. 

Be true to yourself!  You must understanding that each person is responsible for their own feelings and happiness.  You have the right to be yourself.  If it causes others to be hostile or upset, it their issue not yours.  Separate yourself for people that suck your energy and expect you to make them happy.  Separate yourself from people that constantly blame you for their problems. 

Surround yourself with people that actively participate in creating their own lives.  Surround yourself with people that take responsibility for their destinies and generate power from within.  Your life force is for you to have life.  When others rely on your life force to sustain themselves, it is crossing major boundaries and depleting your ability to have joy.

photo via blog.archristian.org via Google images

Empowered and In Love- A Guest Post by Kelli Dussault of My Life Downstream

As promised I have another great guest post for you!  Kelli Dussault blogs over at "My Life Downstream."  Her posts are incredibly touching.  They give the reader an insight into their own soul and allows them to make changes with dignity.  I have enjoyed reading Kelli's work for a while now and I am honored to have her share with you.  You can find her contact information at the end of this post.

They say no one can take your power away unless you give it to them. I agree with that to some extent, although sometimes it seems people can sneak in and razzle~dazzle you and before you know it you are tap dancing around, doing what you think they want you to do, being who you think they want you to be. This is especially prevalent when you're dating.

Why is it that when you meet someone new, you are fully being your wonderful amazing, the only you like yourself and then you slowly start to change. You start second guessing yourself, you want to hurry things along, seal the deal, make this happen and then you go into fear.
You start trying to be more of what you think he might like you to be, being different, being better.. as if that were even possible.

We want so much for this (relationship) to last, for him to stay, perhaps forever, we decide, mostly unconsciously that we are going to be the perfect partner. Wow, really? What does being the perfect partner even mean?

For a lot of us, we can want something to work so badly that we lose ourselves, give up our power, our pride, and that my friends is where it all goes downhill, quickly. We do things we don't necessarily want to do, and when he doesn't do the same for us we pout, we withhold (and you know what I mean), we whine, we bitch and moan. Yea, 'cause that's sexy right?

You want to be the best most amazing, most alluring partner you can be? Here's the secret, take back your power and just be you. Yep, that's right, I know it sounds simple, but it isn't easy.

Being fully in your power is knowing what you want, being who you are, completely, and allowing someone to love you. I know it can be scary, who's gonna love me just for being me?

The person who is brought to you by spirit, the one who just shows up one day as if by magic. The one so perfect for you that you don't have to give up your power for, and it doesn't even occur to you to be that foolish.  You don't feel the need to change a thing, everything just seems to fall into place.

I have done relationships both ways, the give up your power/ try to make something happen, and the allowing/keeping your power relationships.  I have to say, when you just be you, and have faith, what you are supposed to get, what you are supposed to learn will just show up without any manipulation on your part... Now that's powerful.
xo-K

Only love is real, nothing else exists... ~Marianne Williamson
To read more about my journey in life, love and relationships please check out, www.mylifedownstream.com

"Working on Monday"- Starting My Own Business

"Working on Monday" is coming out a couple of days late.  I have been working on a new project, which is starting my own business.  I have wanted to start my own business for a long time, but allowed circumstances to dictate my goals. 

I decided this is the perfect time to start my own business.  Monday I launched another website called Donna's Dollhouse.  Donna's Dollhouse is a website that focuses on makeup reviews, skin care, jewelry, accessories and other fun topics.  I wanted to create a place for women to shop online, have fun and get away from the stress of the day. 

This business certainly is not easy.  I started this endeavor with very little money.  Although the money that went into this was not a lot, it was everything to me.  I am taking a big risk to see my dreams come true.  It could take up to a year or more to see a return on my investment. 

I have an enormous amount of work in front of me, but I look forward to the challenge.  Take a look at my site and tell me what you think!  www.dollmeup2.com

Until next Monday...

The Power of Journal Writing- A Tip for Empowered Living!

One of the most therapeutic activities I do is journal writing.  I have done it on and off over the years and find the greatest clarity when I put my thoughts on paper.  When I look back at the things I wrote and thought 15 years ago, I am amazed!  I can see a marked change in myself and the trouble areas that continue to challenge my perspective. 

I find that when I journal I am more aware of the world around me.  It is an Empowering action that returns great rewards.  These rewards enrich my life and help me find peace in a sometimes uncertain world.  I can find quiet and hear the voice of God. 

If you have never kept a journal or have not done so in a long time.  Get a journal and write out your thoughts, feelings and insights.  Try it for 2 weeks or a month and see how you feel. 
photo via: blisstree.com via Google images

"Working on Monday"- A Short Update

It is getting closer to the day of the official launch of my new business.  I am nervous, excited and full of anticipation.  The unfolding of my work will begin to meet with the needs of people around the world. 

As much as I have planned for this business, there are still many things not spelled out.  This is disappointing, but the work is just being done along the way.  I see such potential!  This business is another expression of my personal Empowerment.  This outlet of independence is filling my spiritual bank with big deposits. 

This post is going to be short, but my question to you:  Are you actively contributing to the future of your career? 

To All The Crazy Dreamers Out There...Listen Up!- By Peter G. James Sinclair

As promised here is your hump day motivation by Peter G. James Sinclair!  

Peter G. James Sinclair

Here’s a word for all you crazy dreamers who refuse to satisfy the status quo, and who put your foot down, not allowing yourself to be hemmed in by ‘in the box’ thinking.

You who rattle and snap the chains of normality with every movement of your thought, and who make it a practice to swim only one way – and that’s upstream.

You, who face walls of opposition, and either climb over them, go around them, dig a hole under them, or simply hire a front end loader and bulldoze straight through the middle of that wall, all the way to the other side.

So Have I Got Your Attention?

Yes it’s you whom I want to talk to.

So listen up!

You who dares to be different. You who has the audacity to dream crazy dreams.

You who pulls out a list of written goals from their wallets or purse and reads them out loudly and passionately each day as one madly in love with the purpose for which you’ve been born.

 

You who works tirelessly to help others around you to succeed, while you’re in the pursuit of your own personal success.

You who are dripping with passion. You with a raging fire burning deep within the recesses of your belly.

You with a dream bubbling in your heart, so much so that it’s about to burst. You with more ideas running around your head than you know what to do with.

You who will not accept anything but the reaching of your, at times, unreachable goals. You with the big smile stretching right across your face,

This Is Who I Am Talking To…

Yes you…

The dreamer, the daydreamer(yes that’s what you’ve been called at times), the visionary, the pioneer, the inventor, the creator, the trailblazer, the singleness of purpose person, the one-eyed monster, the goal-driven guy, the target-aiming girl, the unique, and the original.

Yes You - That’s Who I’m Talking To…

You – the one who quits their job in pursuit of personal freedom. You – the one who decides to take charge of their own destiny – not looking to the government or anyone else to care for them.

You – the one who insists on nothing but excellence while working for another.  

You – the one who in their spare time builds housing for the underprivileged, who cares for the orphans, who helps the widows to become self-sufficient through micro-business loans or other creative means – not giving a hand out, but rather a help up.

You –  the one who coaches young entrepreneurs and devotes part of their time as well as a part of their income in the pursuit of helping others to rise up and over as conquerors.

Yes you – you crazy dreamer.

I’m calling to all dads, moms, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, granddads, grandmas, disabled, abled, black, white, red, yellow, rich, poor, privileged, underprivileged….

Come on! There is no reason that can stop you from becoming one of the elite in this race we call the human race….

Yes you – the crazy dreamer’s elite.

You were born to dream, and not to just dream miniscule dreams. You were born to dream MAXISCULE, MAGNIFICENT and MAJESTIC dreams.

It’s You Whom I’m Talking To…

And this is what I really wanted to say to you – you crazy person...

DREAM EVEN BIGGER AND CRAZIER DREAMS – for our world needs you like never before in history.

And before you go - what crazy dreams are you currently in pursuit of? Fill us in. I dare you. Inspire us.

Motivational Memo: First the crazy dream, then the how.

My short biography:

Peter G. James Sinclair is in the 'heart to heart' resuscitation business and inspires, motivates and equips others to be all that they’ve been created to become. Receive your free copy of his latest eBook Discovering The You In Unique at - http://www.motivationalmemo.com  and add him on Twitter @PeterGJSinclair - today!

photos via: wire.wisc.edu and yesyess.wordpress.com via Google images

Peter G. James Sinclair- A Cure for The Blues

I have such a treat for you, Peter G. James Sinclair!  He has one of the most inspirational blogs I have read.  He regularly blogs at "The Motivational Memo," but tomorrow he is blogging here at Empowered Peace.

If you are wondering why the long name, well ask Peter.  He shares his journey for anonymity and confidence in personal posts that share his life.  Tomorrow's post is not as heavy, but still has the substance to lift you up!

Peter refers to himself as a "heart to heart resuscitation specialist." His passion for helping people realize their uniqueness has blossomed into writing books, blogging and motivational speaking.  You do not want to miss out on this guest post.


In the mean time,  I will leave you with a link to Peter's name story.  Tune in tomorrow for his words written just for YOU! 
photos via oeseminars.com, prolificliving.com via Google images 

"Working on Monday"- Starting Your Own Business

Have you ever considered starting a business?  I have and I did!  Since I have begun my new venture, I have learned a lot about being an entrepreneur.  This is technically the second business I have started.  About five years ago I put together a customer service business.  The other commitments I had prevented the business from being more than a name on a business card.  Along with my other commitments, a lack of business experience also took a toll on the business. 

Needless to say, my past experience has greatly helped me with my new business.  I am definitely more prepared.  This time around I knew that preparing to start a business is crucial.  It allows you to present your business to perspective customers, acquire financing and understand the complexity of owning a business.

If you are planning on beginning a business here are some things you need to consider:

1. Time.  Are you willing to put all of your extra time into planning, launching and running a business.  I have been at my computer non-stop and still have countless tasks to finish. 
2. Education.  Are you willing to pour as many hours as necessary into learning about your area of expertise and the business that gives it life?  You may have a hobby and think making it into a business will be simple.  This is not always the case.  Most of time it is one of the biggest misconceptions new entrepreneurs discover.  A knowledge of accounting, laws, banking and licensing is important to success.  You are even further behind the eight ball when you go into a field without prior experience.  There are litterally hours upon hours of readings, speaking to experts and planning.  Honestly, this should be done before you even consider starting the business.  Are you willing to make these sacrifices?
3. Being misunderstood.  When you are serious about starting your own business people may initially be supportive.  They may share their concerns, but generally they will want to see if you can really make it happen.  As you move forward, if you are really serious, you will become consumed with your business.  It is like a new born baby that requires all of your attention.  You will begin to hear comments like, "we never see you anymore."  "Why are you doing all of this?"  "You need to come back to reality now."  "Can you make dinner or go shopping, we do not have anything to eat!"  Can you be committed to your business at the expense of challenging your support system?
4. Money.  Are you willing to invest in a venture that may fail?  Most businesses fail within the first two or three years.  My own theory on this, people get tired!  Money is used to update equipment, take educational classes, buy inventory, advertise, pay employees, pay for insurance, lease office space, take out perspective clients and maintain a website.  This is a short list!  You are going to have to financially support your business, before it supports you.  Are you willing to put your money into your business?

I hope I have made you think.  Getting into business for yourself can be extremely rewarding, but it comes with a price.  Make sure you can go the distance before you begin the venture.

Until next Monday...
photo via: mathisregazziblogs.com via google images

Ted Haggard is Living His Dream, Are You?

This is the very first article posted on Empowered Peace!  The original post date was 7/11/2010.  As the spring and summer months approach, Empowered Peace is coming upon its one year anniversary.  Enjoy, and as usual be Empowered!

Ted Haggard started a new church.  He is the former pastor of mega church, New Life Church and the former chief of the National Association of Evangelicals.  Haggard confessed to participating in sexual activities with a male prostitute and to ingesting illegal drugs.  His separation from these organizations in 2006, was devastating to many conservative evangelicals.

Ted Haggard made a controversial decision to start another church.  Millions of people across the nation are discussing their feelings and opinions about this event.  Most of these discussions are addressing the absolute questions of right or wrong, truth or lie, sinner or forgiven, yes or no.  Despite your personal views or religious affiliation there is a man tending to his own spirituality.  Haggard has made a decision to participate in his purpose.  His experience is filled with many different forces.  He has to contend with opposing forces, supportive forces and lingering indifference to live out the dream in his heart.

Many of you are struggling with decisions that will change your life and the life of others around you.  You are trying to make the best choices from your own limited perspective.  Normally the most pressing question is how much pain will I cause myself and/or my loved ones to feel.  The answer to this question is simple, you are going to feel pain no matter what you decide.  Life's circumstances are beyond our control because God made eternal decisions a long time ago.  Thus having God's perspective is best when you are confronted with major decisions.

Connecting with your purpose in life will give you the courage to live your dreams.  Your life may not be as public as Ted Haggard's yet the same controversy can exist.  My point is this, life is happening in spite of your choices.  Making a decision to participate in your purpose gives you the ability to be whole.  Living life according to God's purpose for your creation is fulfilling. It gives you a different perspective in the painful seasons of your life. 

AstraZeneca and The Food University Teach You to Cook Low Cholesterol Meals

Yummy news for people with high cholesterol!  AstraZeneca, the makers of the medication Crestor (medication taken to lower cholesterol), have teamed with The Food University.

This partnership was formed to Empower people by helping them manage their high cholesterol with a healthy diet.  The Food University will create step-by-step videos that will instruct viewers in preparing delicious and cholesterol friendly meals.

"Cooking at home should never just be routine; it should be fun. Our simple recipes and videos demonstrate how to make meals with nutritious ingredients that taste good and are good for you," Says Rich Gore, managing director of Food U Properties, LLC.  Watch the complete videos below.  These are tasty recipes that have already been filmed.  The videos feature chefs Sara Moulton and Curtis Aikens.

If you are unable to view this video please follow the link.

You can also find these terrific videos at  Crestor.com and MyFoodU.com.    

I think these videos are fun, informative and helpful.  They make cooking healthy meals less intimidating and can give you confidence when cooking at home.  I hope you Empower yourself by using these excellent tools!  Your family loves you and taking care of yourself says I love you too!  If you do not have a family, love yourself because you are worth it!

More Helpful Resources

Your Guide to Lowering Your Cholesterol 

   

The American Heart Association Healthy Cooking Center

Prescribing information for Crestor 


Contact AstraZeneca at 1-800-CRESTOR 
photos, information and video via AstraZeneca 

"Working on Monday"- Searching for a Job and Starting My Own Business

Well it has been just over 5 months since I have been unemployed.  I have put in applications and have interviewed with several employers.  I have not been hired yet and it is disappointing at times.  Last week after receiving this e-mail stating:

Dear Donna,

Thank you for your interest in Volunteer Bereavement Manager  with (company name deleted) Hospice Care. We have reviewed your resume and have carefully considered your qualifications. While your skills are certainly impressive, we have decided to pursue other candidates for the position.

We will maintain your profile and should a position open that matches your qualifications, we will contact you.  We also encourage you to periodically re-visit our website, (link removed) as new positions open daily.

Again, thank you for your interest in employment with us.

Regards,

Human Resources

(company name removed) Hospice Care

A friend referred me to this job and I was hopeful, but it did not work out.  I am of the mindset I do not want to be where I am not wanted.  It requires too much energy to maintain a position that is not lined up with my destiny. 

Even though I believe the above statement is true, it was upsetting not to be considered for the position.  I was supposed to have lunch that afternoon with a fellow chaplain and canceled.  I felt less than my best and emotionally unable to be good company.  I felt a greater drive to create my future and work on creating an income for my family.

My Other Project

I have been working on my own business.  This has been birthed out of the plan I created at the beginning of the "Working on Monday" series.  I am excited about this venture and I look forward to sharing more with you in the near future.  I have wanted to be an entrepreneur for a long time, I believe it fits my personality well! 

I am attempting to use my time to its fullest potential and this has been the fruit of my labor.  I will continue to search for employment and nurture my baby business.  

How have you been nurturing your career?
photos via: jobgoround.com, learndentalworkers.com via Google images