This was a nice article but I would have liked to see more suggestions on how to approach or at least pray for the unapproachable. I want to have real relationships and eliminate the phony.
The desire to have real relationships is the start of owning them. If you have had a background of being surrounded by shady people that gain their glory from your humiliation, learning who to trust can be difficult. A good way to recognize a connection that is causing destruction in your life is to observe. Here are some things to be aware of:
- You are experiencing trouble in your key relationships. All of a sudden people that you once clicked with begin to distance themselves. You do not know why, but it is obvious there is a problem. Real friends and supporters willing tell you when someone is toying with your life. If they are not will to share their concerns or believe lies and do not share backstabbing rumors, take them off of your list of supporters. You can pray for them by asking God to remove the confusion the enemy has caused.
- People know or think they know information about your personal life that you did not share. This is a clear sign that someone is spreading rumors about you. It may not be easy to find the person behind the lies, but it is a good chance they are right under your nose. Another scary thing to consider is the technology in today's world. People have the ability to hack e-mails, Facebook accounts, twitter accounts, hear your cell phone conversations and even use the cameras on your computer to see what you are doing at home. It amazes me that people would be that intrusive, but there are not boundaries for some people.
- You experience a change in yourself and your confidence begins to fail. Continued harassment can destroy your confidence. You begin to question yourself, the way you dress, your hair, paranoid about little things like your nails and continually wonder how people are thinking of you. You have to turn this negative energy around and use it root out problem people.
- They will try to convince you and everyone else that you are crazy. If people believe your crazy then they will not believe anything you say. The harassment that is real will be turned into a figment of your imagination by the perpetrator. Then you become the problem. If everyone is looking at you, the bully has a clear path to do what he or she wants. They are the crazy ones for attempting to destroy the life God created. It is the biggest insult to God and it will not go unpunished by Him. This is classic scenario played out in every movie genre. It is the theme is 1 out of every 3 Lifetime movies and yes it happens in real life!
It is very intimidating when you have to stand up to a person that seems unstoppable. They become larger than life and trying to defend yourself seems pointless. You have to dig deep inside and let these cowards know you are aware of what they are doing.
- You will not die by sticking up to your bully. It can be scary, you may cry or even lose your words. But once you do it once the second time is much easier. Let them know you are not afraid and that what they are doing is wrong.
- Write out what you are going to say. Try to prepare ahead of time. Write out what you are going to say and how your unapproachable person may react. Then decide how you are going to react to their actions.
- Let other people know it is their responsibility to help. Bullies survive in a world of secrecy. People are aware but do not want to be a snitch or be made fun of themselves. Let the people who are enabling know it it their silence that allows destructive behavior to continue.
- Be strong! If harassment continues seek legal help.
- Move yourself to a healthy environment. If you are unable to get the situation under control, leave. There is no reason why you should have to endure bad behavior. Life is short and making connections with people that will support you is a better way to spend your energy.
photo via managemypractice.com
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