Your Opinion has Power When You Believe in You!

One of the most Empowering understandings a person can own is the value of their opinion.  This is important because when you know that your opinion matters, the negative opinions of others will not matter.  When the negative opinions of others do not matter to you, they can not damage you!

I had an Empowering moment that made me smile.  I was thinking about how terrible I was treated by a group of people.  This was not a lingering thought, it was a repetitive thought that was very upsetting to me.  I wondered why these people did not like me.  I wondered why they listened to lies and rumors.  I wondered why they treated me so cruelly.  I wondered why they spiritually and emotionally abused me.  I wondered why my tears and pain did not matter to them and even made them happy.  I wondered why they always questioned me.  I wondered why they hated me.  Then I thought Why do I care?  I wondered why am I wasting my energy and time trying prove my quality and loyalty to these people.  Why would I want to be where I am disrespected? 

I thought why do I need such horrible people to like me.  I thought why do I need such cowards to have my back.  why do I want such liars and followers that have never showed me any compassion to love me or even like me?  Why do I care? 

What really matters is how I think of them.  I do not respect them.  I do not like them.  I do not want these kind of people in my life.  I do not want to continue to sell my self short because I put value in their twisted lies.  My opinion matters!  My beliefs matter!  This is when I took my power back! 

You have to live by your own set of beliefs and truths and know that they matter.  When you live by the opinions of others you give them power over your life.  I was in a place where I actually needed the validation of others to feel whole.  The truth is I can leave when people do not want me.  The truth is I can leave when I do not want others.  Why would anyone want to be in a painful place full of torment?

My situation involves a stalker/abuser/bully that poisons situations in my life.  It took me a long time to realize this and now I know to look past the actions of others and seek out the cause.  I know their is a cancerous person that has implanted themselves in my life and must go!  But it took me believing my myself and knowing the value of my own opinion to see the evil work of another.  What is your story? 

When you own the value of your opinion you will see clearly.  When you see clearly you can make the necessary changes to rebuild your life and rid it of poisonous people with negative opinions. 
photo via cr4.globalspec.com via Google images

Suppressed Memories Can Be The Breadcrumbs of Life

Have you ever had an event happen in your life over and over again?  Have you ever wondered why good situations turn bad?  Have you ever wondered why people hurt you, even when you think they are good?  I have got a hunch! 

When traumatic events happen in your childhood they can set the course for the rest of your life.  I believe that even though the road can be painful, when you can see the origin of the patten you can be set free. 

Blocking out traumatic memories is a defense mechanism.  However, traces of the event resurface themselves in strange ways.  They can come back in the form of relationships, eating disorders, poverty or drug addiction.  A person can be scared and running and never even know why.  A horrible as some of the ways these memories play out, they can be bread crumbs that lead you home.

Once you see the reason why painful events occur you can begin to heal, find solutions and move forward. 

Hakuna Matata, It Means a LOT of Worries for the Rest of Your Life

As I feel asleep the other evening I prayed to God about a reoccurring situation in my life.  It has plagued me from childhood and has not given me rest for over 30 years!  I've prayed about this situation many times over the years and I have asked God to take away this horrible happening that comes over and over again.  I have had periods of rest and even joy and happiness, but they are always short lived.  I would always be waiting in the back of my mind for the trouble to come and steal my happiness.

You see I have always had  barriers to my successes.  I have not yet tasted the fullness of my destiny and as I went to sleep the other day, God showed me to myself.  He explained to me very clearly, through  different Disney characters the circle of my life.  It seems strange I know, but I have learned to trust God when He speaks to me, no matter how peculiar it seems.  God has not led me astray yet!

God showed me this happening in my life was fear.  The Lion King was particularly relevant to the unfolding of this epiphany.  I watched The Lion King again before writing this post and the reality of my error was clear. 

Simba, the main character in The Lion King, suffered a great trauma when he was a child.  His dad was violently murdered by his brother Scar and Scar then blamed Simba, his nephew, for the murder.  Scar encouraged Simba to run away as the solution to his problem.  When Simba ran away he was befriended by two outcasts named Timon and Pumbaa.  Their philosophy for life was of course, Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata is a slogan that represents a problem free life.  Timon advised Simba "when the world turns its back on you, (you should) turn your back on the world."  There are many problems with this philosophy.  The first problem is your state of denial.  You are forced the believe your life is perfect and ignore an emptiness inside of you that cries out to be filled.  You can not turn your back on the world and expect to fulfill your dreams.  The world needs you to contribute your gifts in a constructive manner.  When you reject the world people in need of your contributions lack and suffer.  You put yourself in a position that forces you to throw away your dreams because your dreams are fulfilled by touching the world around you.

The second problem with this mentality are the limitations you place on your creative being.  The world needs you to be you!  Not Barack Obama or Mother Theresa, it needs you because God created you with a specific plan and purpose.  Hukuna Matata means you are selfish and self-centered because you choose not to care about the world around you.  You intentionally desire the world to feel the pain and rejection you have inside.  You also devalue your entire existence.  If you really knew how priceless you were, you would never think of yourself, only others.

Scar represents many aspects of a stagnant life.  For me he represents fear.  What does he represent to you?  The only way to live a life of Empowered Peace is to confront your "Scar."  The scenario that plays itself over and over in your life will continue to occur until you deal with your internal Scar. 

Confronting your inner demons can be intimidating to say the least.  But it is possible and more importantly it is freedom! 

photos via: unrealitymag.com and lionking.org via google images.

video via: The Dockeeping Channel on YouTube (great video's here)

Using Your Suffering to Live a Life of Purpose, Part 1

via emanclimax

Finding your purpose in life is an exhilarating feeling.  It gives you an unspeakable joy and an inner satisfaction because the reason God created you is able to find a functional outlet.  This joy comes not only from using your God given gifts and talents, but from the people around you who are directly affected by your work.  These people are changed in a positive way because you are being true to your inner self.  Some of you are living your dream and honoring the creative being God carefully placed inside of you.  However, the majority of people struggle with not knowing their purpose in life and aimlessly wander in life feeling devalued and useless.  The wandering people I'm speaking of are in your churches, homes, work places, grocery stores and doctor's offices.  They are your neighbors and school teachers, strangers you pass on the streets and possibly even you.  The circumstances of life can destroy your soul and the dreams you once had become only  vague memories.

 

via Warner Bros.

This heart breaking scene from The Color Purple is difficult to watch.  Celie and Nettie were sisters torn apart by an abusive husband.  Some of your stories are not this tragic, but others of you have experienced far worse.  The good news is there is hope the mend your shattered heart.  The brokenness of one's soul can be restored through acts of morality.  "This involves survivors restoring themselves by responding to others’ suffering, dedicating themselves to causes and improving the world; giving life meaning and leaving it a better place (Farley 2007)."  In other words, you can volunteer or start your own non-profit organization to help others suffering from the pain you once experienced.  Remember spiritual care is about finding and nurturing your meaning and purpose in life. 

photo via

Becoming a part of a reputable organization or building your own community of helpers is a conduit for transforming your pain.  It gives you the ability to restore peace and joy in your life and help others in need.  Part one of this series was an introduction to the condition of broken souls.  Part two of this series will discuss the healing.  Until then let me leave you with a happy ending. Celie and Nettie are reunited after lives of abuse, rejection and heartache.

References

Farley, Y. (2007). Making the Connection: Spirituality, Trauma and Resiliency. Journal of Religion & Spirituality in Social Work, 26(1), 1-15. doi:10.1300/J377v26n0101.

The Book of Philippians (NKJ)

Resources

International Volunteer Programs Association (IVPA)

RAINN/ Rape, Abuse and Insect National Network

Transcendence: Stop my Pain and Suffering!

Maya Angelou's poem "And Still I Rise" is a colorful voice used by the experience of transcendence. This poetry articulates the suffering of life's injustices and demonstrates the will of the soul to be free. Human spirituality is expressed in a person's ability to contribute to the world around him. A person finds the ability to touch their world in many ways: parenting, teaching, working, entrepreneurship, learning, being someones child, spouse, sibling, care taker, provider, activist, musician or writer and the list is endless. These offerings to the world are continually changing as life reveals its requirements of participation. Suffering occurs when a person is forced to make unwanted changes in their roles. Death, terminal illness, job loss, family conflict, abuse and other painful occurrences are the events that cause crisis and the awaking of transcendence.


Transcendence is an available means to spiritual well-being. It happens at the point of acceptance and the person's willful participation in their reorganized life role. Eastern religions such as Buddhism, attain transcendence through the denial of self and meditation. A person is to relinquish himself of feeling emotions and detach from the world. This includes non-attachment in relationships and to material possessions (Hanson 2008). Western traditions such as Christianity find transcendence through morality, worship and prayer. Emotions are not denied in western traditions but they are considered unreliable for making responsible decisions. People practicing western religions have doctrinal responsibilities to their relationships which bring blessings into the lives of the obedient (Yount 2009). These are of course very broad descriptions and insights into Eastern and Western religious ideologies. They are not meant to be exhaustive in this context.  Both religions seek to find meaning in suffering and use certain practices to overcome suffering and acquire transcendence.

Real Life Applications

Making meaning out of the death of a loved one, the pain of broken relationships or being treated unfairly is the beginning of transcending your soul to a more enlightened or mature place.  On your path of meaning making you may experience sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, helplessness, shock, yearning, relief, numbness, disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, social withdrawal, dreams, avoidance and crying.  You are not crazy, you are human and we feel these experiences when our sense of well-being is threatened or taken away (Worden 2009).  One of the most effective ways to work through your suffering is artistic self expression.  It is an avenue for your soul's cry.  You can keep a journal of your feelings, scrap booking, singing inspirational music, art, gardening, dancing and other artistic activities.  Set aside some daily time to inventory your thoughts and feelings, you have feelings and accepting them is accepting yourself.  There are not any right or wrong feelings they just exist within you. This daily time limit will help you manage preoccupation. Take care of yourself i.e. get your hair cut, have a massage or a manicure (Rosenberg 2009).  Most importantly be gentle with yourself.  You are not perfect and will make mistakes in this journey called life.  Use some good old fashioned forgiveness and keep going.  Your on your way to transcendence and movement beyond your pain.  God Bless You and Amen.

Here is some additional readings on the subject of transcendence:

Hanson, J. (2008). Searching for the Power-I: Nietzsche and Nirvana. Asian Philosophy, 18(3), 231-244. doi:10.1080/09552360802440017.

Harris, H. (2008). Growing While Going: Spiritual Formation at the End of Life. Journal of Religion, Spirituality & Aging, 20(3), 227-245. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Rosenberg, R. (2009). LONERGAN ON THE TRANSCENDENT ORIENTATION OF ART. Renascence, 61(3), 141-152. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Vis, J., & Boynton, H. (2008). Spirituality and Transcendent Meaning Making: Possibilities for Enhancing Post traumatic Growth. Journal of Religion & Spirituality in Social Work, 27(1/2), 69-86. doi:10.1080/15426430802113814.

Worden, William J. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, forth edition. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company, LLC.

Yount, W. (2009). An Evangelical View of Transcendence and Senior Adult Attitudes. Journal of Religion, Spirituality & Aging, 21(1/2), 88-103. doi:10.1080/15528030802265387.