What is a good girl or person? A person that lives their lives believing they are walking a saint. They do everything to live up too society's definition of a good woman. They continually deny their true feelings and act upon being liked by others. It is a life full of artificial connections, fake smiles and suppressed emotions. The "good girl" must die!
My good girl delusions were broken when a bully began spreading rumors about me. They said I was a whore, liar and anything else vile and evil which exists. I never knew exactly what was said, but I knew my image was damaged. I was crushed because I had lived to be everything pure and in line with Jesus. The only problem was I was denying my authentic self and did not even realize it!
I thought being humble and overlooking the bad behavior of another person made me a better person. I thought because I made the choice of waiting for sex until married made me pure and holy. I thought suffering the abuse of a-holes was something to be endured until God pulled me out of the situation. I thought never getting angry was good.
How wrong! The good girl must die! The good girl image holds women in invisible prisons of piety. No one ever has to worry about the good girl fulfilling her dreams. She will live her life bond in a stagnant swap of "good enough." It is time to kill the good girl and embrace your entire being.
As a woman you have all kinds of feelings, thoughts, desires and needs. Society tells us that certain wants and needs are bad because good girls are not like this or that. Not true! Women have the right to experience the fullness of our existence and this can not be done if everything about you is being denied.
At one time in my life, I saw the world as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. But now I am realizing life if full of shades of gray. Harsh stringent standards create impossible rules for anyone to fulfill. Living in the gray and accepting yourself as less than perfect is the only way to breath and experience the gratification of being you.
I am certainly not telling you to start cussing everyone out that ticks you off or encouraging you to have sex with strange people. I am telling you that your thoughts and feelings are normal! And embracing all of you and being okay with yourself just the way you are kills the good girl.
This is how you get started:
- Realize your emotions are not evil. We all have feelings. Feelings of love, hate, desire, lust, envy, happiness and sorrow. It is a part of what makes us human. Emotions are gifts from God. They allow us to understand how situations are effecting us. When we understand how we feel, we can act appropriately. Not based on our feelings, but based on our values. If your feelings conflict with your beliefs, explore it! Don't ignore it! Be available to yourself to make adjustments and changes when necessary. Remember you are on a journey and should be evolving all of the time.
- Know your values. You should know what is important to you and make decisions to uphold and protect these things in your life. If you have to be mean or fight for what you believe in, it is okay. Be true to yourself!
- It is okay to be different. Many times the desire to fit kills your ability to be your authentic self. It is okay to be different. If it were not God would have made us all the same. Instead of going along with the crowd, have the courage to stick your values and beliefs. If you are the only one wearing red shorts at the gas station with white strips and everyone is moved by your fashion statement, be happy!
photo via sharewithaline.wordpress.com via Google images
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