Meeting Life's Challenges is the Road to Success

What is a queen without a kingdom?  What is a warrior without a battle?  What is a husband without a wife?  What is a mother without a child?  What is a writer without a story?  What is a musician without an instrument?  What is a lover without a partner?  What is a solution without a problem?

All of these images embody the emptiness one experiences when life's challenges are not overcome.  It seems that the pain comes from defeat, but it runs much deeper.  It is also the God given gifts inside of you yearning for an outlet.

The other side of the challenge is the kingdom, the battle, the wife, the child, the story, the instrument, the partner, the problem.  It is the playground for your gifts and talents to exercise, grow and be free. 

These challenges are most significant in the lives of people that have determined goals in life.  The ability to maintain excellence when a goal is met, is developed along the way, through challenges.  When I was a new hospital chaplain, I was constantly confronted with challenging situations.  I had to overcome many fears to be successful in my job.  I found myself growing and doing more than I ever dreamed.

Then came the big challenge!  I was filled with fear and distress.  I was unable to effectively rise to this challenge and my growth was redirected.  I no longer had a hospital for my chaplaincy gifts and talents.  I had to self-reflect and decide if my dream was worth overcoming my fear. 

Meeting this challenge is something I approach with nervousness, but I realize it is the only way to reach my ultimate goal.  And the only way to pull out more of the substance God gave me to function in my purpose. 

The Message

The message I want you get...treat life's challenges as an oven.  After you put all the ingredients of your dreams and goals together...let the challenges of life bake the perfect cake!

The challenge is not comfortable, but without it you will not have the necessary tool to finish your dream.  Realize it is an opportunity to become the best, Empowered you possible!

photo via jerecro721.wordpress.com via Google images

The Good Girl Must Die!

A one dimensional person is lying to themselves.  No one is all good all the time.  As a woman I thought it was my place be good, even during my years of being a "bad girl" I still had a persona within my group as a "good girl."  There were certain lines I did not cross because I needed to be "good."

What is a good girl or person?  A person that lives their lives believing they are walking a saint.  They do everything to live up too society's definition of a good woman.  They continually deny their true feelings and act upon being liked by others.  It is a life full of artificial connections, fake smiles and suppressed emotions.  The "good girl" must die!

My good girl delusions were broken when a bully began spreading rumors about me.  They said I was a whore, liar and anything else vile and evil which exists.  I never knew exactly what was said, but I knew my image was damaged.  I was crushed because I had lived to be everything pure and in line with Jesus.  The only problem was I was denying my authentic self and did not even realize it!

I thought being humble and overlooking the bad behavior of another person made me a better person.  I thought because I made the choice of waiting for sex until married made me pure and holy.  I thought suffering the abuse of a-holes was something to be endured until God pulled me out of the situation.  I thought never getting angry was good.

How wrong!  The good girl must die!  The good girl image holds women in invisible prisons of piety.  No one ever has to worry about the good girl fulfilling her dreams.  She will live her life bond in a stagnant swap of "good enough."  It is time to kill the good girl and embrace your entire being.

As a woman you have all kinds of feelings, thoughts, desires and needs.  Society tells us that certain wants and needs are bad because good girls are not like this or that.  Not true!  Women have the right to experience the fullness of our existence and this can not be done if everything about you is being denied.

At one time in my life, I saw the world as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad.  But now I am realizing life if full of shades of gray.  Harsh stringent standards create impossible rules for anyone to fulfill.  Living in the gray and accepting yourself as less than perfect is the only way to breath and experience the gratification of being you.

I am certainly not telling you to start cussing everyone out that ticks you off or encouraging you to have sex with strange people.  I am telling you that your thoughts and feelings are normal!  And embracing all of you and being okay with yourself just the way you are kills the good girl.

This is how you get started:

1. Realize your emotions are not evil.  We all have feelings.  Feelings of love, hate, desire, lust, envy, happiness and sorrow.  It is a part of what makes us human.  Emotions are gifts from God.  They allow us to understand how situations are effecting us.  When we understand how we feel, we can act appropriately.  Not based on our feelings, but based on our values.   If your feelings conflict with your beliefs, explore it! Don't ignore it!  Be available to yourself to make adjustments and changes when necessary.  Remember you are on a journey and should be evolving all of the time.
2. Know your values.  You should know what is important to you and make decisions to uphold and protect these things in your life.  If you have to be mean or fight for what you believe in, it is okay.  Be true to yourself!
3. It is okay to be different. Many times the desire to fit kills your ability to be your authentic self.  It is okay to be different.  If it were not God would have made us all the same.  Instead of going along with the crowd, have the courage to stick your values and beliefs.  If you are the only one wearing red shorts at the gas station with white strips and everyone is moved by your fashion statement, be happy!  

Now go kill the good girl and be complete and whole.  That good girl is empty and miserable, yearning for the day she can be bold and beautiful.  Make that day today! 
photo via sharewithaline.wordpress.com via Google images

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life- The Benefits of Positive Thinking

It is important to practice positive thinking.  I use the word practice because thinking positively takes active participation.   Allowing yourself to dwell on negative situations, outcomes and fears shapes you as a person.  How do you feel after you have been exposed to something that makes you happy?  You are usually happy, right?  Not if you continually focus on negativity.  It is difficult to embrace anything that is good.  You may smile, or even outwardly laugh, but inside you are an anxious, nervous mess waiting for something horrible to ruin your good thing.

Allowing yourself to think in a positive manner will change your perspective.  Continued practice can even re-frame your disposition.  I know that this is easier said than done, creating new habits is not as easy as eating cookies.  You may even need professional assistance to dissolve past trauma, but the results of a good attitude can Empower your life.  Here are some of the benefits.

1. You get to move past your circumstances.  You can either become a victim of your bad situation or use your situation to make you sharper.  Just as a body builder needs resistance to develop muscles... using the tool of positive thinking develops your ability to transcend adversity.
2. Your choices will build you up.  If you live in a negative, dark existence you will tend to act in that direction.  These actions will steal your motivation and destroy your hope.  However, if you think positive, you will build bridges that help you reach your goals. 
3. You become physically healthier.  Doctors continually remind their patients about stress.  It contributes to heart disease, hypertension and depression.  Simply changing your thoughts will increase your physical fitness (Mayo Clinic). 

I know that life can be tough.  I also know that being positive in some circumstance even seems impossible.  Yet, the best way to take control of your life is taking control of your thoughts.  Look fear in the face and claim your Peace! 
photos via: truth459.blogspot.com, optimist-optometrist.blogspot.com 

Ted Haggard is Living His Dream, Are You?

Ted Haggard is starting a new church.  He is the former pastor of mega church, New Life Church and the former chief of the National Association of Evangelicals.  Haggard confessed to participating in sexual activities with a male prostitute and to ingesting illegal drugs.  His separation from these organizations in 2006, was devastating to many conservative evangelicals.

Ted Haggard has made a controversial decision to start another church.  Millions of people across the nation are discussing their feelings and opinions about this event.  Most of these discussions are addressing the absolute questions of right or wrong, truth or lie, sinner or forgiven, yes or no.  Despite your personal views or religious affiliation there is a man tending to his own spirituality.  Haggard has made a decision to participate in his purpose.  His experience is filled with many different forces.  He has to contend with opposing forces, supportive forces and lingering indifference to live out the dream in his heart.

Many of you are struggling with decisions that will change your life and the life of others around you.  You are trying to make the best choices from your own limited perspective.  Normally the most pressing question is how much pain will I cause myself and/or my loved ones to feel.  The answer to this question is simple, you are going to feel pain no matter what you decide.  Life's circumstances are beyond our control because God made eternal decisions a long time ago.  Thus having God's perspective is best when you are confronted with major decisions.

Connecting with your purpose in life will give you the courage to live your dreams.  Your life may not be as public as Ted Haggard's yet the same controversy can exist.  My point is this, life is happening in spite of your choices.  Making a decision to participate in your purpose gives you the ability to be whole.  Living life according to God's purpose for your creation is fulfilling. It gives you a different perspective in the painful seasons of your life.