Healthy Eating- Getting Back on Track with Holiday Leftovers!

Christmas was full of yummy rich food this year.  It was my plan to continue on the American Heart Association Heart Smart Plan, but tradition won.  The holiday menu consisted of turkey breast, Cornish hens, meatloaf, prime rib, king crab legs, lobster, macaroni and cheese, ambrosia salad, corn, potato salad, macaroni salad, garlic bread and Pepsi!  Not to mention the turtle cookies, chocolate chip cookies and coconut cream pie, Yikes!

I thought one day of indulgence would not hurt, but I forgot about the leftovers!!!!  I sent people away with large plates of food, but the refrigerator remained filled to capacity.  I had no choice but to eat!  I enjoyed every bit but my healthy eating was interrupted.  All of the rich, fattening food is gone, but I still have leftover turkey and prime rib.   Here is a turkey breast salad recipe I put together:
  
Empowered Turkey Salad
At least 1 cup: Cube your leftover turkey breast (if it is a whole turkey include dark meat)
1/4 cup thinly diced white onion
1/3 cup Ocean Spray Craisins, dried cranberries
One chopped apple
1/4 unsalted walnuts
plain yogurt or Miracle Whip to desired consistency of turkey salad

*mix all of these ingredients in a bowl and enjoy on wheat bread!

Here is a great recipe from SparkRecipes for my leftover prime rib. 
Leftover Prime Rib with Pasta Recipe

I am back on track and looking forward to 2011! 
photo via: weightlosshelp24h.com via Google images

Stalkers Know how to Use Your Cell Phone to Spy on You- Protect Your Privacy

Living an Empowered life is difficult if not impossible when you are being stalked.  Stalking is becoming increasingly technical and scary!  I have been the victim of a sophisticated stalker.  They hacked my computer and used more traditional means of harassing me and knowing my personal information.  It is extremely difficult if not impossible to catch these people.  When I had a key-logger found on my computer, it seemed the perpetrator had more rights than me.  My bank refused to give the ip address of the hacker that looked at my account.  The police and Microsoft said that what was happening to me was highly unlikely!

It was a helpless feeling!  The latest run in with this stalker took place in copying my wardrobe and hairstyles.  My stalker knew what clothes I was wearing and changed their hair to look like mine.  It was such a creepy feeling and I could not figure out how they knew my every move.  They knew my conversations and daily activities.  It was very painful when people took the side of my stalker and believed I was imitating them.  This is the lie my stalker told and I did not have any way to defend myself.  It was humiliating and cost me my job. 

I have just discovered a highly likely way they stalked me.  Not only did they hack my computer, but I believe they tapped my cell phone.  Take a look at these videos (if you are reading this post via e-mail, you may have to go directly to the website to see these videos www.empoweredpeace.org)







I was completely oblivious to this type of technology.  Your privacy is always at risk!  It seems that honest people do not think about these things.  The bad guys who prey upon us are educated in these areas.  

In my situation the thing that amazed me the most...other people helped my stalkers.  Either they were manipulated into participating, they were told false information to make them think I was worth harassing or they were corrupt.  I can not imagine what would make a person help someone harm another.  Blackmail?  I guess the message is, your privacy is not your own and people will help your stalker.

I have not yet been able to convict my stalker.  For a long time I was afraid to say anything.  I thought people would not believe me.  I thought they would think I was crazy.  Now I do not care what people think.  I tell people that I may be being stalked or I share my past experience when I think it is necessary.  My stalker targeted my professional life.  It sucks to have your lively hood jeopardized.  I have a family to support and my income seems to be in the hands of someone that hates me.

I continue to find ways to take my life back but it is very difficult.  For all I know they are still watching me and reading this post as I prepare it for you.  I pray that the situation is over and my stalker has stopped following me of their own free will.  If not and evidence of their illegal behavior arises again, I will not be as intimidated. 

The latest story in the news is a man that will possibly be convicted for reading his wife's emails.  If he is prosecuted it could mean a lot for victims of Internet crimes.  I encourage you to report activities to authorities and get the services of a private investigator.  I did not do all of things I am suggesting to you because I was ignorant and intimidated.  This is how the stalker wins.  The more Empowered you become, the less you fear the abuser, the more capable you are of fighting back!

photos via: worldvillage.com and blackberrysync.com via google images. 

Empowered Peace's 10 Most Influential People of 2010

2010 has been an amazing year!  I have made many great accomplishments and suffered some significant losses.  2010 has also been filled with people that have influenced my life, America and some even the world.  Here is a list of Empowered Peace's 10 most influential people of 2010.  

One (1)
God.  This year God has allowed me to rethink my relationship to the world and opened up a deeper meaning to the Bible.  The power of His word is more powerful than I ever understood or can ever understand.  

 Alexis and Eddie Mae Ware

Two (2)

Eddie Mae Ware.  This is the woman that gave birth to me, raised me and died of Alzheimer's disease.  Mrs. Ware is the true epitome of a lady.  Even in her darkest hour she was graceful and generous.  This woman believed in me, when I could not believe in myself.  

Three (3)

Alexis Shawntea Ware.  Alexis is my daughter and dearest friend.  She encouraged me when I was down and has been a constant inspiration for my life.  I love her dearly.

Four (4)

Richard Blanchard Ware.  This is the most dedicated man I have ever known.  He was loyal to my mother till the day she died and worked like a dog to support our family.  Without my dad's support I would not be here today.

Five (5)

Patients, families and others that I have served.  I have been able to minister to some wonderful people in their times of need.  You gave me a reservoir to pour out my love and share the love of God.  These amazing people created a space for God to use my gifts and talents.  I love you all!

Mark Zukerberg

Six (6)

Mark Zuckerberg.  I opened my Facebook account in 2010 and it has changed my life.  I was able to connect to old friends and make new ones.  I have been able to share my blog and be connected to the world in a new way.  Facebook allows me to connect with people even when I am in the privacy of home.

Sergey Brin and Larry Page

Seven (7)

Sergey Brin and Larry Page.  Every time I have a question or need some assisstence I Google it!  I can not think of many days in 2010 that I have used Google.

Evan Williams

Eight (8)

Evan Williams.  The inventor of Blogger and Twitter.  Technology has had a major impact on my year.  I have been able to share my ministry on the Internet and touch the lives of thousands of people.  

Barack Obama

Nine (9)

Barack Obama.  It is still beyond belief that we an African American president.  President Obama's election into The White House challenges me to rethink what being black in this world really means.  His presence in 2010 is not any different.

Oprah Winfrey

Ten (10)

Oprah Winfrey.  Oprah is such an incredible woman.  2010 is the last year of the Oprah talk show but she is launching her own network.  Oprah continues to evolve and she inspires me to grow.  

This is the Empowered Peace top 10 of 2010.  Who has touched your life?

photos via: shockya.com, redherring.com, images.businessweek.com, topnews.com.sg, forbes.com via google images.

How to Build a Support System of Good Friends that Fit

One of the things I have always told my daughter, "make sure your friends fit like a good pair of jeans."  This statement is essential to living an Empowered life.  I have never needed a lot of people around, I was content with having one confidant.  The problem I ran into was never finding a loyal friend to share my fears, hopes and dreams.  I did not make sure my friends "fit" and I was consistently disrespected. 

This humiliating treatment has come in the form of betraying my privacy and spreading crippling rumors.  I have never understood why my life was worth ruining.  I speculated it was my upbringing.  I was raised to be a respectable lady with high values.  This was distinctly opposed to many of the people that came into my inner circle.  As a young girl I always felt I had to prove I was I was cool.  I had to prove I was not a nice girl from the suburbs, but a "bad ass."  This was such foolishness.  I caused myself and my parents a lot of pain.

As a young woman I tried to prove I was strong.  But the truth was, I was an insecure little girl that wanted to be loved.  My skewed self-image caused me to look for love in all of the wrong places.  I never felt like I was good enough to run in the "right" circles, and I tried to find acceptance from people that did not have morals and respect themselves or me.  What a conflicted mess!  The state of your relationships is a good picture of what you feel about yourself on the inside. 

Two of the underlying issues that have caused me so much pain and emotional distress were shame and acceptance.  I was ashamed of who I was because of the many humiliating things that happened to me.  I always felt dirty and felt like I had cover up a shameful secret.  The other problem was wanting to be accepted.  I yearned for acceptance from people that were incapable of showing real love. 

I guess this made me easy prey for mean people.  The most Empowering lesson from the things I've shared is knowing you do not need anyone to accept you.  Searching for acceptance creates a void in your soul that plays a chameleon.  It changes to meet the impossible standards of people that are incapable of showing love. 

The other freeing element of this article is YOU ARE OKAY.  You do not have to be ashamed of the bad things that have happened to you.  Everyone has had them!  The shame of abuse and humiliation is a heavy burden.  It causes you to hide the awesomeness inside of you and view everyone as better than yourself. 

I have also come to discover that the support of loving people is essential.  They are the ones who will be there when you fall and whip your tears away when you are hurting.  This goes back to the original message- "make sure your friends fit like a good pair of jeans."  If you are surrounded by people that are constantly judging you and making you feel small, it is time to change friends.  You deserve to be loved being punished for who you are is wrong. 

To live a life of Empowered Peace you have to accept your real value.  You are priceless and choosing proper friends is a reflection of your inner life.  Here are some ways to identify good friends.

1. Good friends encourage you to do better.  If your friends are putting you down and nit picking at everything you do, they may not fit you well.  You should feel better when you are with your friends not worse.
2. Good friends have your back.  If your friends are sharing your secrets or speaking negative about you, they are not your friends.  If your friends are in the room you should feel welcomed when you enter it, not scrutinized and belittled because they have just got done raking your name over the coals.
3. Good friends warn you of danger.  A friend does not set you up for failure and then laugh at you.  If they say they were just joking, believe me they are playing you!
4. Good friends help you.  They are there during your difficult times and make sure you are okay.
5. Good friends do not change the opinion of your supporters.  If people esteem you highly, but think they made a mistake when they meet your friends...maybe you are hanging with the wrong crowd.
6. Good friends call you on your bad behavior.  Good friends are supposed to make you better.  If the people around you let you behave like an idiot, maybe they do not really care.  A truthful person is very different than a judging person.  Make sure you can tell the difference.  

Relationships are very important.  Make sure yours are with quality people that fit like a good pair of jeans.  
photos via: janeheller.mlblogs.com, paulmayers.blogs.com, choicehow.com via google images.

"Working on Monday"- A New Year's Review of Your Goals for Professional Development

The holidays are usually slow in the office.  A lot of people are on vacation and a lot of the work turmoil seems to quiet itself and prepare for the new year.  This does not happen in every industry, but for the majority of people it is a time of calm.  I encourage you to relax your worries and exercise your mind.

This is the perfect time to read and absorb the content of a good book.  Not just any book, but something that supports your professional development goals for the year.  Working on Monday began with action steps to discover and effectively live out your career dreams.  As you live out your written plan, the realities of life should shape your direction and perfect your plans. I am not suggesting that you change your dreams with every difficult circumstance.  I want you to listen to the wisdom of life as it shares its invaluable truth. 

One of the best ways to hear the instructions of life is reflection.  This is a week that can be used to take inventory and make the destination to your dreams more successful.  As your discoveries unfold here are some useful questions to ask yourself.

1. What challenges have I ignored?  There are many things that happen in our lives that are easier to forget.  However, if you are ignoring problems because they are too difficult to face, it is a strong possibility these unresolved issues are holding you back.  
2. What do I need to change in order to reach my goals?  Have you ever heard the saying "doing things the same way and expecting a change is insanity?"  It is true.  If you want to move to the next phase of your dreams you have to give up doing things that cause you to fail.  If that means waking up an hour earlier or surrounding yourself with different people, do not be afraid of making necessary arrangements.  
3. What accomplishments have I made?  If you are trying to make positive changes in your life, simply making the decision is a milestone.  It is important to know you have done some good.  This makes adjustments less intimidating.  
4. Is my life well rounded?  Pursuing a career is part of what gives a person satisfaction in life.  It is also important to make time for friends, family, rest and recreation.  A well rounded life addresses the multiple needs of the sometimes complicated human being.  
5. What are the one or two major areas of change I want to focus on?  Pursuing your dreams and making positive changes can be overwhelming.  You have an entire life time to live out your dreams and many times that is how long it takes.  Tackling one or two areas of change at a time is manageable.  Many times you can resolve other issues without the additional mental strain.  

This list is short and you can certainly add your own thoughts and ideas.  Make sure you take time out to center yourself and start the new year with a fresh perspective.  Reviewing your goals for professional development is certainly worth your time.  

photos via afpp.org.uk, herd.typepad.com

Working on Monday- Creating Positive Work Relationships

Working in a stressful work environment is a source of workplace burn-out.  Going to work can become a task of emotional strength and a test of your mental endurance when you are feeling overwhelmed.  The cause of much stress at work is relationships.  Strained relationships can create worry, fear and insecurity.

Looking back on my work history many of my difficult times were caused by poor relationships.  These connections stirred anxiety within me and made being at work unpleasant.  From poor managers to over competitive co-workers being in conflict with another person causes confusion.

Bad relationships sabotage workplace success.  They prevent your ideas from being considered, it ruins support and it makes people suspicious of your intentions.  They are a handicap to securing workplace success and must be worked out. 

A bad working relationship is something that should not be ignored.  The negative consequences can snowball and contaminate other areas of your work life.  Here are some ways to improve and/or avoid troubled work relationships.

1. Ask questions at the interview.  It is important to know your needs in a workplace setting.  Knowing your needs will allow you to evaluate a company's ability to match your work style.  You will also be able to determine if you can accept certain differences and still be effective in the environment.  
2. Address tension in your relationships.  If you see a co-worker is upset try to find out why and rectify the issue.  Avoiding a misunderstanding can lead too more hurt feelings and a more difficult solution.  
3. Always talk to all parties concerned.  Many times people blame others for their misfortunes.  It is unethical to hold another person guilty of an accusation without speaking to the person.  They may have a perfectly good excuse or you may find the person making the accusations is really the guilty party.  If a person shares unfavorable information about another co-worker with you and swears you too secrecy, beware.  Without a way to verify the story suspend judgment of the accused.  How would you feel if you were not able to defend yourself?
4. Avoid workplace gossips.  Have you ever met a person that seems to know everything about everybody?  Avoid them like the plague.  How do they know intimate details about people who do not even speak to them?  The information they are spreading is either false or obtained using questionable means.  A person's privacy should not be violated, especially in the workplace.  Leaking embarrassing and/or false information about people is a sure way to destroy relationships.  Make sure you form your opinion about another person based on your relationship with them, not another person's opinion.  
5. Set clear boundaries and respect the boundaries of other co-workers.  Nothing makes people angrier than stepping on their toes.  Make sure you are within your territory with projects and decisions.  If you are unsure rally support and make a group decision.  If others are interfering with your work speak up!  It is important to have respect at work.

Relationships can be complicated and sometimes take a lot of work.  The efforts you put into creating solid connections can only pay off in the end.  Learn about yourself and how to relate to others.  People make institutions work and people help others succeed.

If you are aware of someone spreading rumors about a co-worker report them.  Social sabotage is a crime that destroys relationships.  Please help stop social undermining.

photos via: ere.net, realbollywood.com via google images 

"Working on Monday"- In Loving Memory of My Mom

In Loving Memory of Mrs. Eddie Mae Ware

I thank God for giving me such a loving and kind mother

12-12-2010

The Real Meaning of Christmas- The Power of Relationship with Christ

It is Christmas time again, how many has it been for you?  This is my 40th Christmas and the question I am pondering...What is the real meaning of Christmas?  My Judeo-Christian American heritage has had many different focuses throughout the years.  During wartime the focus was on peace, during a recession the hope was for a better economy and during times of change Americans cleave to the familiarity of Christmas to comfort their confusion.

When I was a child, Christmas was great fun!  My nephew and I would look through store catalogs and make our Christmas lists.  We would steal fingers of frosting off of the cakes my mom baked and look for hidden presents.  The funny thing about looking for presents, was the fact that we believed in Santa Claus!  How funny!  We would watch Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snow Man, The Grinch That Stole Christmas and A Christmas Carol.  It was such a wonderful time of year for our family.  We were always happy and filled with good food.

As I got older Christmas became a time of family gathering.  It was such fun to have the family together and open presents!  We got the usual socks and underwear, but those special requests!  It was always so exciting to open the diary or roller skates that I wanted more than anything.  The family turmoil that troubled me in later years did not seem so bad during Christmas. 

As an adult I came to have a personal relationship with Christ.  The holidays began to center on Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross.  My daughter and I would read the book of Luke.  Then we would watch the book of Acts on dvd and eat a big dinner.  We then opened gifts and went to visit relatives.  These were very sacred times. 

Now here I am at Christmas number 40 and life's circumstances have matured and seasoned me.  And again I ask the question, what is the real meaning of Christmas?  I went to the gospel of Matthew and read the story of Jesus.  I have read this gospel many times before, but now I have come with different questions.  God what is the meaning of Christmas?

God has always existed and played an active part in the lives of His children.  The Old Testament is filled with stories of God intervening in the lives of Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Samuel and Ester.  He guided them and through each of them flows the blood line of Jesus.  I asked God "how did life change when you sent Christ our Savior?"

Christ's life was sober, focused and difficult.  God embodied experienced emotional distress, betrayal, death, murder, persecution, humiliation and isolation.  God himself suffered some tough times.  Then I asked God "Life continued to be difficult for believers after the resurrection.  Where is the abundant life in martyrdom and despair?" "Shouldn't things have gotten better with the resurrection of Your Son?"  Yet there remains struggle and strife, in the world and inside of people. 

Then I remembered the precious things that Jesus did have in the world.  He had relationships.  He had His disciples to comfort Him.  He had His disciples to reveal, teach and guide.  He had His disciples to love.  He had His disciples and humanity, which gave purpose and meaning to His life.

Yes life is hard and sometimes unbearable, but there are a few relationships in my life that give me joy.  It is my relationship with Christ that gave me a life worth living.  It is my relationship with my family that gives me strength.  It is my relationship to my destiny that gives me hope even when it feels like I am all alone.  The meaning of Christmas is relationship.

Christ's sacrifice on the cross gave me the ability to be one with God.  I am not separated from God because of my sin.  He sees me as snow white and clean, washed by the blood of His Son.  It is my relationship with God that my enemies seeks to destroy.  The deceptive games of satan make people think they are seeking to settle a personal vendetta; but each person's act of unkindness is an attempt to separate the receiver of the pain from God. 

This Christmas is a great time to renew your relationship with Christ.  

This 40th Christmas means relationship to me.  What does this Christmas mean to you?
photos via: alliecat-alliecat.blogspot.com, americana-music-and-memories.com, wellswarren.org, noquestionleftbehind.blogspot.com via google images. 

Healthy Eating and Exercise- Why Wait for The New Year?

I have been in this struggle for many years and this year I am determined to win!  I know many of you have the same battle, but how can we win with busy schedules?  What about the cravings?  How can I claim a healthy lifestyle when part of it is out of balance?  I feel guilty about the broken promises to myself, especially when I have won this battle in the past.  This is it!  I am going to eat healthier and exercise! 

When I manage to accomplish the task of eating healthy I always feel better!  I have more energy, I am focused and I am more confident.  How can all of these good things be lost to my appetite for fast food?  When I examine this illogical behavior it becomes painfully clear...

1. I am always rushing
2. It is easier to eat fast food, than cook a good meal
3. Old habits are hard to break
4. I do not plan to eat, it just happens when I get hungry

I have to admit, I am not overweight and this can be deceiving.  I look decent on the outside, but I am more concerned about what is happening on the inside.  I want to be able to climb a flight of stairs without feeling winded!  The only way to accomplish this goal is to expand my healthy lifestyle.  I could start the first of the year, but I think it is best to begin now.  I have been looking at some diets, but they say diets are not good.  I got some advice from one of my physically fit friends, DeShawn Ray Penman.  He said I should start with no sugar and no bread for 90 days!  Yikes! 

What is a junk food junkie to do?  I am starting off slow!  I think the way for me to be successful is to plan my meals out.  I have been looking at the healthy eating websites and some of the meals are not very appetizing.  I can not imagine myself eating goat cheese tacos, yuck!  I have decided to following the recommendations of The American Heart Association.  I have a family history of diabetes and heart problems.  Why not be proactive!

The American Heart Association has a really great tool.  It helps you build your grocery shopping list with healthy food choices.  It is called "My Grocery List."  I have learned that as much as I love cheese, it is best to get lactose free brands.  This is going to be a tough adjustment, but I am going for it!

I will keep you updated.
photos via: womanshealthmag.com, buzzle.com via google images. 

"Working on Monday" - Polices, Procedures and Your Personal Image

The workplace is one of the most complex and diverse entities in business.  It is a combination of ideas, people, money, services and emotions that must harmoniously function in unity for the best results.  The workplace is not like a math problem, 1+1 is always going to equal 2.  The workplace is more subjective.  Personal perception is what makes a client satisfied.  Personal perception is what makes one employee seem more capable of a promotion over another.  It is these personal perceptions that can make or break a career.  It is these personal perceptions that make a person more marketable on the east coast, as opposed to the west coast.  Knowing the policies and procedures of your business along with skillfully managing your professional image will accelerate your career and make you more marketable.

Policies and Procedures

Policies and procedures are written for several reasons.  They help define a company's standards for  customer service, they articulate what steps should be followed for consistent delivery of products and services and they help employees meet company expectations.  They can also be used to evaluate your job performance, among other things.  In the nut shell, polices and procedures are important!  It is also important to know if your interpretation of the rules lines up with the company's and/or your manager's understanding.  This is what makes the workplace such a subjective environment.  Your understanding of any given rule can be distinctly differently from that of another person.  It is very important that you are on the same page with your workplace. 

Normally new employees get employee manuals, do not just throw it in the trash.  Take time read the company's expectations.  New employee manuals are only the surface of the rules.  There are other policies that should describe your work.  Read these and begin to use the same language when you are communicating with your superiors.  Know your job description like your favorite song, it will always guide you and allows you to set clear boundaries.  

Unfortunately all businesses are not always organized.  Even more unfortunate, sometimes your boss is a jerk and tries to keep you from learning.  Use the Internet!  It is full of all kinds of helpful information.  You can read job descriptions, policy and procedure manuals from other companies, find informative articles about your area of expertise and much more.  I would also suggest keeping notes of what you are doing at work and how it demonstrates following policies and procedures.  This will come in handy during a performance review.  It is also helpful if questions arise about your work performance.  This kind of research requires dedication to your chosen profession.  If you are not willing to become an expert, maybe you are pursuing the wrong career.  

Your Personal Image

How does personal image tie into policies and procedures?  Well your ability to do a task is one thing, but the way in which you do it is another.  If you are perceived as a sloppy, slow or stand-offish your ability to do a job will not matter.  The workplace is comprised of people with feelings, beliefs and temperaments.  If your image is incompatible with the those of your co-workers, you will not fit into the team.  

People that are not wanted on the team get a hard time.  They are criticized and constantly scrutinized.  Any infraction of the rules is made to be detrimental.  If the policies and procedures are followed perfectly, the only other means of attack is personal.  Your co-workers can complain about your dress, hair, nails or personal style.  You can even dress professionally and have impeccable style, but there will be a false perception that makes it appear to be bad.  They will find anything to make you stand out, seem to cause problems and feel isolated.  

One of the most important aspects of your personal image to develop is communication.  Excellent communication skills will allow almost anyone to relate to you.  This gives people a sense of comfort and makes them want you around.  You can read books about communication, personality types and having difficult conversations.  Practice talking to different people, listen to their stories and learn about different cultures.  

Do not be discouraged if you have difficultly in any of these areas.  You do not have to be an expert overnight.  We are all works in progress, begin where you are and diligently work to improve your knowledge of policies and procedure, along with your personal image. 

Resources 

Employee Manuals- an article on HumanResources.com 

Communication Skills for Lifelong Relationships- an informative article on Discovery Health

photos via: lyleandassociates.ca, forbes.com via google images

"Working on Monday" Part 7- Transition to Depth and Understanding of the Workplace

It is a transitional time for "Working on Monday."  We have done some amazing work by executing the action plans I created.  Let's review:

1. Write down where you want to be in the next twenty-five years.  
2. (a) Pick five companies you want to work for- research their history and culture. (b) Research the lifestyle you want to live in twenty-five years.  
3. Join an organization (your church does not count).
4. Press, do not quit!
5. Set and write down your short term goals- one month, 6 months, 3 years.
6. Write out your work history in an autobiographical form.
7. Reflect on the information you have compiled in action plans one through six.
8. Create actual steps to reach your long and short term goals.
9. Think about the competition- how are you going to rise above and overcome them?
10. Make note of how you spend your time for three or four days.
11. Review your time journal and make a schedule.
12. Stick to your schedule.
13. Organize your work autobiography into short memorable phrases. 
14. Get a personal calling card.
15. Strike up conversations everywhere and be prepared to speak about yourself in a professional and positive manner.

Now we are going to take a deeper look at the workplace and how it operates.  The above steps are preparation for the workplace, but you also have to be prepared to function in the workplace. Topics such as human resources, discrimination, networking, politics and office etiquette will be covered.  In addition to these discussions, small business subjects will also be examined for entrepreneurs.

There may be more action plans, but we will revisit the above action plans and get a full understanding of how they fit into the workplace environment. 

This transition presents you with another opportunity to complete and/or revise your action plans.  Remember you are growing and your plans should be revised to reflect your growth. 

Until next Monday...

An Empowered Woman's Gratitude on Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  Though it is not a religious holiday, it is revered with honor in American culture.  I have many things to be thankful for this season, but today I am most thankful for my power!  I am thankful for my truth. 

Many times I have fallen short in the face of opposition.  I have allowed lies, both written and spoken to circulate and attach themselves to my name.  I have allowed people to control my life and keep me in subservient positions.  I have allowed people to tear me down without a fight because I was afraid and unwilling to confront hate so intense that it had an odor.  For many years I thought it was right to allow people to say negative things behind my back.  I allowed rumors to circulate going unchecked and let unkind people interfere and destroy my relationships.  I thought I was being a 'good' person and silently died waiting for someone to rescue me.

I have had some dynamic teachers step in and encourage me during critical times.  I am sure it was their words along with my parent's unconditional belief in me that allowed me to endure excruciating abuse and unfair treatment.  Recent events have given me a new attitude.  I am claiming my authority and exercising my right to be me!

I must say, I have at times, made attempts to stick up for myself, but I always fell short along the way.  I allowed many things to intimidate my efforts and allowed humiliation to be my garment.  I allowed distorted images of me to be written in the history books of life.  I thank God I have always found a way to stand up and try again!

My inner strength to endure abuse, has become an external expression.  I am thankful that I have learned I can fight for myself.  There isn't anything wrong with having your own back.  This is my Empowered Peace!  I have fought for my daughter and my parents with unwavering determination.  Now I KNOW it is right to fight for myself with the same zeal. 

Life is not perfect.  There are always going to be situations that require courage and strength.  I may not win them all, but by God I intend to fight! The truth is only told when it spoken.  The truth is only known when it is revealed.  This Thanksgiving I am thankful I can speak.  I am thankful that I am not afraid to confront uncomfortable situations and speak the truth in the midst of lies.  I am thankful I fight for myself!

What gives you the ability to be thankful?
photo via gchosp.org

"Working on Monday" Part 6- Making Personal Connections and Introducing Yourself to the World

This week we are taking action!  We have gathered information about ourselves, dreams and goals.  Now it is time to share our discoveries!  I do not mean spelling out your dreams to everyone, remember, dreams are special and should be shared with caution.  I mean letting people know you are on the market and what you can do for them.  It is time to make personal connections and introduce yourself to the world.  The people you strike up conversations with in the grocery store could lead to your next job.

You could be talking to the wife of an executive, the son of an entrepreneur, a human resources representative looking to fill a position or someone that will refer you during a conversation with his friends.  These people all have something in common, it is called reach.  Reach also known as word-of-mouth advertising can work for you.  People generally want to help.  Word-of-mouth advertising is an easy way for people to participate in your journey.  You just need a message and a calling card!

I am Shy

I have leaned from my own personal experience.  If you are hungry and really want to make your dreams come true, you can overcome shyness.   This is a time for you to shine and let people know who you are and what you can accomplish.  It is not rude to speak of your strengths and strong work ethic.  This is what people need to know, they are putting trust in you to complete important tasks.  Let them know you are capable and the best person for the job!  Passion stimulates courage and gets the job done!

Action Step Twelve:
Organize your work autobiography from step 6, into small memorable phases. Here is an example of a conversation:
Monday: "Hi, how are you today?"
Stranger: "I am okay, just doing some shopping."
Monday: "Me too, I have been really watching my budget.  I have been unemployed for about 6 weeks."
Stranger: "That is too bad.  My son is looking for work, but has not had any luck."
Monday: "I need money to survive, but I miss comforting patients and families in their time of need more than anything.  I am a chaplain by trade, specializing in bereavement care and staff education."
Stranger: "My sister works for hospice.  She says the chaplains are wonderful.  Have you tried any hospices?
Monday: "Yes, it is very rewarding work. I worked closely with them in the hospital.  They have always done an amazing job."
Stranger: "I wonder if they need chaplains where my sister works?"
Monday: "Here let me give you my information.  I really appreciate your concern.  You can contact me anytime."
Stranger: "It was really nice meeting you Monday, I will be in touch."
Monday: "It was nice meeting you too. Have a great day!"

It is just that easy!  I would suggest role playing or talking in front of the mirror to practice.  You want to sound natural, but professional and knowledgeable.  Knowing how to articulate who you are and what skills you have to offer helps people take you seriously.

Action Step Thirteen:
Get a personal calling card.  Here are some great examples at Elizabeth Anne Designs.

Having a social calling card with pertinent information shows professionalism.  Everything you do communicates what you have to offer.  The way you dress, your hair, make-up, your speech and body language.  This does not mean you should change yourself.  If you are a cowboy, be the cleanest cowboy around.  If you are a fitness guru, where neat, matching fitness attire.  If you are a stay at home mom, where neat clothing, do your hair and make-up.  Show people you are worth their money, time and investment.  

Action Step Fourteen:
Practice often.  Strike up conversations everywhere and be prepared to talk about yourself is a professional and positive manner.

Even if your conversation does not lead to a business connection, you are letting the universe know you are ready.

Here is a great article by Chris Brogan: Presentation Tune-Ups.  An audience of one or two is just as important as hundreds.  Make sure people know you value them. 

photo credits: abstract-living.com, daromancejournal.com

How to Live When Someone You Love is Dying

My life stood still just a couple of weeks ago.  My mom's Alzheimer's disease dramatically advanced over night.  She was no longer able to walk, she was confused and unable to feed herself.  Trips to the emergency room and one hospital admission did not give my family any hope.  We were told the advanced stages of my mom's dementia, her age and over all condition, made her a poor surgery candidate.  Her options were limited: a nursing home or hospice, we elected hospice.  

The first days of hospice were surreal.  I could not believe in my heart my mom was dying.  My mind understood, and I knew the steps and formula well.  As a chaplain, I have been here with families hundreds of times, yet it was difficult to be there with my own family.  My mom could not be dying.  She is the matriarch of my family and the foundation that holds us all together.  Even though she lost her ability to boss us around, intrude in our lives and cook the best food in the state of Michigan she was still feisty and able to love us.

I dropped everything waiting for my mom to die.  Then something happened!  She started to smile.  She ate a couple of bites of food, and in a confused language of her own, she began to talk.  These moments are less than a fraction of what she was capable of before, but it was hope.  She is still unable to walk and feed herself, but life still seems to linger in her attitude.  She seems to have found a new home in her hospital bed.  Her new hobbies are sleeping and twisting the sheets.  I do not even know if she knows me, but she is very kind.  She says thank you when you change her and remains a lady.  She is modest because that southern bell ingrained in her DNA refuses to leave her naked.

These new signs of life have given me hope to continue with my own.  This is the first post I have written outside of the "Working on Monday" series.  I can not be responsible for the death of any one's dream, so I continued and will continue to write the "Working on Monday" series.

My mom's strength has given me courage to share and live again.  I can breath knowing that she remains.  I do not know how long she will be on earth with us.  I miss her beyond comprehension when I think of her death.  I do know, I must live while she is dying.  I am thankful that my mom knows how to love me, even when she does not know her own name.  Nothing is stronger than a mother's love.

Here are some ways to live, while someone you love is dying:

1. Try to see the winner in you, that they did.  People who love you see beyond your current conditions.  They encourage you to do more and speak of your talents and potential.  Think about all of the potential they saw in you and honor their ability to see the good in you.  Live up to their expectations and fulfill your dreams.  The people who love you sacrifice many things to help you succeed, let the things they passed by for you not be in vain.
2. Understand that death is a part of life.  We all have an appointed time on the earth.  Some of us are give 6 days, 6 months, 6 years, 36 years, 60 years, 86 years or 106 years.  The time is determined and inherent in our created being.  
3. It is okay to cry.  Tears are an expression of your soul.  Let the cleansing nature of your tears sooth your being.  Tears are normal, acceptable and heal in ways we do not understand.  
4. Forgive yourself.  You are not responsible for the death of your loved one.  We do not know how death will come.  It can come in the form of a tragedy, old age or a disease.  You may have said some unkind words or done even worse to your loved one who is dying.  We all say and do things, never expecting death to be the next event that brings you together.  If you knew things would have gone differently, but you did not know and now it does not matter.  Time forgets the mistakes of yesterday and so should you.
5. Function in the change.  When a loved one is sick and dying, life changes.  You may become a caregiver, you may have to do things that take time away from other activities, you may have to drop everything.  Manage the moment in front of you, to the best of your ability.  Cry through it, yell through it, crawl through it, be afraid through it or be courageous, but try not to avoid.  You can do what is necessary, even in your weakness.  
6. Say goodbye.  The ability to say goodbye is not always guaranteed.  If you have the ability to say goodbye, cherish it and take the time to say what is in your heart.  Saying goodbye is not going to make death come sooner.  Death comes in spite of your actions.  It works on a schedule beyond your control.  You can even say goodbye after your loved one has died.  It is the burden of your soul that needs to be expressed. 
7. Simply live. Death, dying and grieving are all a part of life.  They are uncomfortable times that cause a great deal of pain, but a real dimension of our existence.  Death and dying does not mean you have to punish yourself because you are still alive.  Live and laugh.  Sometimes you may wish you were the one dying or life seems unbearable without the ones you love,  though you will forever be changed it does not have to mean eternal devastation.  Eventually the confusion of death aligns itself with the the normalcy of life.  I am acknowledging the breath of life within you.  Please give yourself permission to live, it is okay.  One step and one moment at a time.

Accepting death is a part of Empowered Peace...
photo credit: Chaplain Donna

"Working on Monday" Part 5- Time Management Will Change Your Life

Welcome back to "Working on Monday!"  I have been unemployed for five weeks now.  It has been a  gradual transition.  Part of my former job was being on-call 24/7.  It was difficult if not impossible to make plans because a life threatening event could need my attention at any given time.  I found myself waiting for my pager to go off and suddenly remembering, hey, you do not work anymore, relax.  Working over sixty hours a week at all hours of the day and night and then suddenly being left with an open calendar has been a tough adjustment.  My life being released from such an unpredictable schedule is now in need of order.  Our topic this week, time management.

"Working on Monday" a Practical Perspective 

I have come to this conclusion, success is a lifestyle.  People try to lose weight going from diet to diet.  They only find success when they change the way they live.  Super star athletes are major competitors because they train, this is their lifestyle.  What happens when a person is addicted to drugs?  They live to get high!  Drug addiction is a lifestyle.  A lifestyle is built by the things we do with our time.  

Now that we are working with the assumption that success is a lifestyle, it is vital to remember what type of lifestyle we seek.  You can be successful at anything.  You can be a successful failure, loser and abuser.  Many times we do not even practice for the parts we play in life.  They are ingrained in us by life and our families of origin (Cattapan and Grimwade).
   
Action Plan 10:
Make note of how you spend your time for the next four days.  What time do you wake-up?  How much time do you spend watching television?

What do Successful People do with Their Time?

Time Magazine wrote an article able Nelson Mandela.  It celebrated his ninetieth birthday, by discussing his principles of leadership.  From this article I extrapolated how Nelson Mandela spent his time.

1. Inspiring others to participate in his cause.
2. Thinking about relevant events and circumstances
3. Planing 
4. Reading books of wisdom and instruction 
5. Meeting with his colleagues and discussing current events and topics that impacted his causes
6. Listening 
7. Learning about his enemy
8. Persuading people to support his ideas

 

Action Plan 11:
Look at how you spend your time.  Take out the unnecessary things and make a schedule.

Action Plan 12:
Stick to your schedule and only make changes that lead to success.     

"Working on Monday" a Spiritual Perspective

The book of Acts is the story of how the new covenant church began.  The church grew by thousands daily, but it was not without persecution and dedication.  In Acts chapters one and two, Jesus ascends into heaven and the disciples go to the upper room and prepare for the Holy Spirit.  The disciples were making a lifestyle change.  They had gone from the security of following Jesus to preparing for living the unknown.  This is what is happening to us.  You are leaving behind the familiar and grabbing hold of change to live out your dreams. 

Spiritual Lessons Learned from Acts 1 and 2

1.  Do not stand still looking into heaven waiting for Jesus to return.  Go prepare for your destiny.
2. Preparation involves prayer.
3. Action involves the Holy Spirit.
4. You will be able to speak to people that think and speak a different language.  For example you will be able to communicate with business people that specialize in different areas of expertise.
5. People will look for reasons to underestimate your excellence, but your words and conviction will win them over.
6. God will give you power and courage to do impossible things! 

Next week is a big week.  We are taking action!  Make sure you are caught up and ready to move!

References

Cattapan, O., & Grimwade, J. (2008). Parental Illicit Drug Use and Family Life: Reports From Those Who Sought Help. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 29(2), 77-87. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Time Magazine: Mandela- His 8 Lessons of Leadership

Stepcase Lifehack: Fifty Habits of Highly Successful People

The New York Times: How Different Groups Spend Their Time

"Working on Moday" Part 4- Raw Determination!

"Working on Monday" is not just about finding a job, it is about living your dream.  It takes courage to pursue what seems impossible.  It takes a raw determination to reach above the expectations of others and be true to yourself.  This is the core concept of Empowered Peace.  Honoring the creation God crafted and made you.

A reminder from last week, we are not going to have any new action plans this week.  This will be a week to complete and refine the tasks of the last three weeks.  As you approach these steps pay attention to your thoughts.  Immediately replace thoughts of defeat with positive affirmations.  You will have enough opposition, so be your own best friend!

This week I am going to talk about one of the driving forces you need to pursue your dreams, Determination.  Many great lives have been built with determination. The following clip is of Chris Gardner.  His inspirational story was captured in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, intentionally spelled incorrectly.  Mr. Gardner states the 'y' is for you and your dreams.  Listen to the following clip.

This video tells me we are doing the right thing at the right time.  It does not matter how crazy people think you are, it does not matter who does or does not believe in you and it does not matter who tries to sabotage your plans.  What does matter is the dream.  It is the time to make your dreams a reality.  It took gritty, raw determination for Chris Gardner to get his brokerage license while being homeless.  He had an unstoppable attitude that shaped his pristine work ethic.  You do not have any excuses not to succeed, only excuses to hold you in a life of crumbled yesterdays. 

Chris Gardner has some other advice to help you reach your goals.

1. "The Calvary isn't coming!" (words of wisdom from his mother)
2. "Baby steps count too!" (Rev. Cecil Williams, Founder of Glide, the homeless shelter where Chris Gardner stayed with his son)

As you complete and refine your goals know that you are not alone.  Your dream is your purpose, your career and the key to "Working on Monday."
photo via google images 

"Working on Monday" Part 3- The Strategic Planning Process of Achieving Your Goals

Welcome back to "Working on Monday!"  A lot of material has been covered over the past two weeks and if you are executing the actions plans the shape of your destiny is already  forming.  The focus of "Working on Monday" part three is  bringing things together and creating a strategic plan to achieve your goals. 

"Working on Monday" a Practical Perspective

I have learned about the workplace from the School of Hard Knocks.  My parents were not top business executives and never shared tips about being successful at work.  Their philosophy was get a 'good' job and go to work.  It seemed simple to them because they lived during a time of blue color heaven, but that utopia has gone straight to hell.  I did not have a mentor groom me for corporate success and show me how to move up the ladder.  I only had an inkling in my stomach that kindled a determination inside of me.  I always knew I was capable of more, but I was continually being knocked around like an inexpensive golf ball.  I had to  make a decision that those days were over!

The action plans thus far have been fact finding and information gathering exercises.  Now it is time to develop real steps to make your dreams a reality.  

Action Plan 7:
Reflect on the information that you compiled in action plans one to six.  What have your mistakes taught you?  What are your goals and work history telling you about yourself?

Here are some great definitions of Strategic planning, we are going to be working with this one: Strategic planning "determines the general direction and goals of the Society (in our case personal career) both the short and long term. Strategic planning considers the resources of the Society, the likely behavior of competitors, the direction and pace of technological change, and the projected demands of the marketplace (American Chemistry Society (c))." 

This definition can be very overwhelming but we are going to attack this one step at a time.  I have found that preparation leads to opportunity and "Working on Monday" is not just about returning to work, but living your dreams.  One step at a time you can be living your dreams.

Action Plan 8:
Create actual steps to get to your goals.  For example if one of your goals is being promoted in a year, what would you have to do to achieve this?  Take training classes, move to another company, get licensing or certification, memorize your future job description, actually plan how you are going to reach your goals.

Action Plan 9:
Think about your competition.  Let's go back to the promotion example. How many people are competing for the job?  How will your co-workers react to your new position?  How do you make yourself necessary?  How will you handle jealous people?  Adjust your plans accordingly.

This is a lot of work, but the benefits will change your life.  You will have two weeks to complete these action plans.  Do not get discouraged with the process, hang in there.

"Working on Monday" a Spiritual Perspective

Let's go back to Joseph, Genesis 40 and 41. Joseph was in prison because he was falsely accused of rape.  During his imprisonment two of Pharaoh's servants were placed in jail with Joseph.  They had dreams and Joseph was able to interpret their meaning accurately.  Joseph asked them to tell Pharaoh he helped them and have him removed from jail because he was innocent.  The servants forgot about Joseph until Pharaoh had a dream.  Joseph came before Pharaoh and explained the meaning of his dream.  There was going to be a great famine in the land of Egypt and Joseph told him to prepare during the seven prosperous years that would proceed the famine.  Pharaoh was impressed with the wisdom God gave Joseph.  He appointed him to lead the efforts to save Egypt from the famine.  Joseph went from prisoner to Pharaoh's second in command in one evening. 

Spiritual Lesson Learned from Genesis 40 and 41

1. Use your talents to help others even when you are down on your luck.
2. When you help someone they will give you a good recommendation. 
3. Good leaders will recognize God's blessing upon your work and will honor it with position and pay.
4. Be prepared for all situations, they will lead to your dream job.
5. Tough times do not last forever, have faith that things will change in God's time.

Additional Resources

Sklover Working Wisdom- excellent site with important information about the workplace

Corporate Warriors- strategy for corporate excellence

Vocational Information Center- information about careers and occupations

photos via google images and freepixels.com