This humiliating treatment has come in the form of betraying my privacy and spreading crippling rumors. I have never understood why my life was worth ruining. I speculated it was my upbringing. I was raised to be a respectable lady with high values. This was distinctly opposed to many of the people that came into my inner circle. As a young girl I always felt I had to prove I was I was cool. I had to prove I was not a nice girl from the suburbs, but a "bad ass." This was such foolishness. I caused myself and my parents a lot of pain.
As a young woman I tried to prove I was strong. But the truth was, I was an insecure little girl that wanted to be loved. My skewed self-image caused me to look for love in all of the wrong places. I never felt like I was good enough to run in the "right" circles, and I tried to find acceptance from people that did not have morals and respect themselves or me. What a conflicted mess! The state of your relationships is a good picture of what you feel about yourself on the inside.
Two of the underlying issues that have caused me so much pain and emotional distress were shame and acceptance. I was ashamed of who I was because of the many humiliating things that happened to me. I always felt dirty and felt like I had cover up a shameful secret. The other problem was wanting to be accepted. I yearned for acceptance from people that were incapable of showing real love.
I guess this made me easy prey for mean people. The most Empowering lesson from the things I've shared is knowing you do not need anyone to accept you. Searching for acceptance creates a void in your soul that plays a chameleon. It changes to meet the impossible standards of people that are incapable of showing love.
The other freeing element of this article is YOU ARE OKAY. You do not have to be ashamed of the bad things that have happened to you. Everyone has had them! The shame of abuse and humiliation is a heavy burden. It causes you to hide the awesomeness inside of you and view everyone as better than yourself. I have also come to discover that the support of loving people is essential. They are the ones who will be there when you fall and whip your tears away when you are hurting. This goes back to the original message- "make sure your friends fit like a good pair of jeans." If you are surrounded by people that are constantly judging you and making you feel small, it is time to change friends. You deserve to be loved being punished for who you are is wrong.
To live a life of Empowered Peace you have to accept your real value. You are priceless and choosing proper friends is a reflection of your inner life. Here are some ways to identify good friends.
- Good friends encourage you to do better. If your friends are putting you down and nit picking at everything you do, they may not fit you well. You should feel better when you are with your friends not worse.
- Good friends have your back. If your friends are sharing your secrets or speaking negative about you, they are not your friends. If your friends are in the room you should feel welcomed when you enter it, not scrutinized and belittled because they have just got done raking your name over the coals.
- Good friends warn you of danger. A friend does not set you up for failure and then laugh at you. If they say they were just joking, believe me they are playing you!
- Good friends help you. They are there during your difficult times and make sure you are okay.
- Good friends do not change the opinion of your supporters. If people esteem you highly, but think they made a mistake when they meet your friends...maybe you are hanging with the wrong crowd.
- Good friends call you on your bad behavior. Good friends are supposed to make you better. If the people around you let you behave like an idiot, maybe they do not really care. A truthful person is very different than a judging person. Make sure you can tell the difference.
photos via: janeheller.mlblogs.com, paulmayers.blogs.com, choicehow.com via google images.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Join the conversation!