The Ugly People You Meet Attending Church!

The people you meet attending church are not all nice.  As a new believer nothing was better than attending church.  Worshiping God with fellow believers was amazing.  I was apart of some really great ministries and I was filled with hope each Sunday.  I loved being in church.  I went at least twice a week and two times on Sunday!  I was filled with enthusiasm, curiosity and passion for my church and church family.  Then I met the 'ugly' people.

The people who smile in your face and then stab you in the back!  These ugly people really go to church!  I met the people that gossip and spread rumors.  I could not believe Christians could be that terrible.  I met the Christians that have sex with everyone they can and go to church and pretend they are spending their nights in prayer.  I met the hypocrites that destroy peoples lives all week and sing in the choir on Sunday. 

A transition in leadership and a connection to a mentally ill individual changed everything.  A church that was once filled with caring and community turned greedy.  Money and power became more desirable than love and support.  It was justified with the word of God and harsh treatment to anyone that did not "fit in."  The ugly people took over and their crew stunk!

For months I denied how things had changed.  The pastor shouted from the pulpit "you came here for the word of God, forget about sister so and so."  "Stay at the church God has planted you, it doesn't matter if its hard."  I told myself this over and over as I ignored the harsh treatment from my Christian brothers and sisters.  I prayed, I cried, I broke down in service when the treatment became to much to bear.  I was tortured and I still do not know why.  My clothes were criticized, my make-up was scrutinized, my daughter was teased and security constantly eyed me.  What ever these people thought of me was never brought to my attention.  They had to think I was wicked to be treated with such disgust.  But to my frustration I was never confronted, at least I could have defended myself and clarified suspicions.  Nothing but cruelty.  Nothing but the cold shoulder.  Nothing but mean looks and superior glances. 

I finally got a chance to meet with my pastor after months of rejection.  I asked him if there was a problem and he denied anything.  I was too afraid, hurt and ashamed to discuss the treatment I felt coming from him and the church.  It was easier to take his word and try to move forward.  The treatment did not stop and I decided enough is enough.  I'd had enough abuse.

After 4 years of hell I left the church.  I prayed to God and asked why these people treated me with such cruelty.  I did not do anything to deserve the mess they dealt out to me.  Then one day I got up and went to a different church.  This was months later and I was gun shy.  It was exactly what the doctor ordered.  I was loved and accepted.  This church helped to heal the pains of spiritual abuse inflicted by my former pastor and church.  But as I healed and some incidents occurred I yearned for more!  What happened to the church?

As I reflect on these events I feel it is important to share my thoughts.  New Christians deserve to know everyone attending church is not nice.  There are some real ugly people that will treat you like crap.  All Christians need to know their behavior inside and out of church can rip and tear the souls of many.  Non-Christians need to know Christians are not perfect, but the ones acting like devils do not represent all.  Pastors need to know the devastation bad behavior creates.  Those of you that have been hurt in church, you are not alone. 

The Things I Have Learned

1. Stop Judging!  Being a Christian does not give you the right to look down on others.  Discriminating against people based on their clothes, finances, personal appearance and zip code is cruel.  Every person has a story take the time to listen and give the love of Christ.  Withholding love based on your estimation of who has earned it is arrogant and just plain wrong.  Giving charity does not mean you gave love!  Telling someone how to live their life certainly does not mean you helped them. 
2. If you are being treated like crap leave!  No one should be treated like trash.  Superior attitudes based on the acceptance of man is nonsense.  People change like the wind and trying to meet their standards is grueling.  Find out who you are and accept yourself!  You can not define yourself by anyone's standards, not even the pastor.  
3. Giving money is a personal choice.  Churches need money to survive.  The pastor spends a lot of time helping his flock and should be compensated.  But being manipulated into giving is wrong.  Giving large amounts of money does not mean God is going to bless you more.  Only give large amounts when prompted by God.  If you want to help pay for church expenses because the pastor asked, its okay.  It is not okay for the pastor to say you should be ashamed if you do not help.  There is a definite spiritual law to giving but allow God to reveal it to you in His time.  If the pastor is telling you that you are missing out on anything because you do not give $20 when he asks, there is something wrong.  Different views on tithing exist today.  Study the word of God and decide for yourself.
4. Everyone in church is not there to worship.  Many people go to church because it is fashionable.  They quote the scripture and say "have a blessed day," but their hearts are cruel.  They are hateful people and do terrible things, inside and outside of church.  Giving someone automatic trust because they attend your church is a mistake.  They should earn it like anyone else.  This includes the pastor, his wife and their children.  
5. Know yourself and stop trying to figure out everyone else.  Act from your truth and not one imposed on you by another man.  
6. Learn the meaning of the Bible yourself.  Everything coming from the pulpit is not truth.  Read your Bible and ask God to reveal His truth to you.  Do not depend on another person's understanding unless they have gained your trust.  If you are able to see the flaws in your husband or wife, why can you not see them in the pastor.  They are human and can err.  Make sure the teaching you are hearing is really what you believe.  God gave us a brain to think with, us it!
7. If someone is giving you damaging information about another person, ask!  Ask the person that was drug through the mud if the information is true.  If you do not have the nerve to get the truth, do not treat them poorly based on a lie.  You would not want this to happen to you.  Learn how to ask and involve all parties.  If the person giving the information says its a secret, I can almost guarantee they are liars! 
8. Enjoy the journey and always continue to grow.  You can not let ugly people ruin your good thing.  Find another location, ignore them if you can but do not allow ugly people to tear you away from God. 

As I think about the headlines, I guess the people I have met are not that incredible.  Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard and Jim Bakker were powerful men of God.  They influenced millions of people and raised millions of dollars in the name of the Lord.  I can not speak for these men, but if they are truly remorseful, I think they would say: "Getting caught was the best thing that ever happened to me." 
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