Remove The Shame of Abuse and Watch Yourself Become a Winner!

Abuse is insidious because it takes away a person's wholeness.  If you have ever known a person before and then after any type of abuse or violent act, you have witnessed this change.  If you yourself have been abused you have experienced this change.  The brokenness of abuse shatters a person's soul and the pieces are held together by shame.

Shame prevents a person from being a winner.  Relationships tend to be stressed because of an invisible darkness that looms inside.  This darkness is like a dirtiness that soils one's self perception.  It becomes a continual struggle to hide this perceived dirtiness from anything a person identifies as good.  Unfortunately a person filled with shame can believe everything and everyone is better than them.   

Shamed people are likely to attract predators because of their feelings of unworthiness.  Their self-talk consistently says they are not good enough.  Some see this as a humble disposition, but it is a deception.  God's creations are entitled to goodness in all things.  This includes relationships, jobs, friends and material possessions.  There is nothing wrong with experiencing the fullness of life.  Being abused does not revoke the right to enjoy the finer things in life.  Being abused means something bad happened to you, but you are not a bad person. 

It should not be a shameful experience to drive the car you love, to have a partner that respects and loves you or to have the job of your dreams.  Shame tells you to humble yourself and give it to someone more deserving.  I am here to tell you.  There is not anyone who deserves it more than you!  Living a good, happy and fulfilling life is everyone's right...even yours, even mine. 

It is important to reverse the devastating limitations of shame.  The grips of it are powerful, but with God, time, patience and help you can become your winning self.  Try some of these tips to break the chains of shame.

1. Identify an Empowered role model.  I was recently watching the biography of Arnold Schwarzenegger.  He was a man that came from poor beginnings, yet made no apologies for his success in life.  He did not let his past limit his future.  Watch your role model's interviews, read their books and create your own success.  
2. Surround yourself with positive things.  Watch constructive television, read inspiring books and listen to uplifting music.  It creates a sense of calm and nurtures a can do attitude.
3. Take inventory of your relationships.  Remove people that tear you down!  If you are unable to fix stressed relationships, stop participating in them.  Monitor your relationship with self.  Treat yourself good.  I heard a quote that I can not place, it said "treat yourself the way you want others to treat you."  Get to know yourself, accept yourself and learn to love you. 
4. Develop a relationship with God.  God is the creator of all things including you.  Who knows you better than the one that made you.  Learn what God thinks about you and make that your truth.  God is able to support and help you through tough times and transitions.  It is His transforming power that renews the soul.  Stay close to Him and allow God to gently love your pain away.  
5. Take care of yourself.  Treat yourself to a special meal.  Get a massage, manicure or facial.  Get a nice outfit.  Watch a comedy and laugh!  

Remember life is a process and every moment you try, you become better.  It is easy to become frustrated because healing from abuse can take a long time.  Be patient with yourself and know everything is alright and you are a winner!
photos via: penn-olson.com, gibbsmagazine.com and provocativechurch.com via Google images