I did not help my daughter with anything. I wanted to reinforce my strong stance, I do not approve of getting pregnant as a young teenager with out means or a husband. She woke up at various times during the night to feed and change this baby. She had to sacrifice watching her favorite television shows to nap while the baby was sleep. She also struggled to get her homework done because she was busy with the baby. I am still certain this project promotes single parenthood. I think the ideal of joint responsibility should be taught and discussed. Young men and women need to learn to depend on each other to raise their children. It isn't just the girl's baby and the boy's part-time accessory.
I have to tell you the second day my daughter had her baby, I wanted to help. It took everything in me to hold back. I hated to see her struggle and be sad. Her fantasy was crushed and she realized having a baby was really tough. I wanted to tell her how to hold the baby. I wanted to show her how to swaddle and rock the baby to sleep. I wanted to fulfill my role as her mother and this 'baby's' grandmother. It was unnatural not to help my daughter with her difficulties. I hated being distant and allowing her to experience such a great responsibility alone.
I discovered that if this was real, I would be there for my daughter. I realized how drastically both of our lives would change. I got a preview of the love I will have for my grandchildren. I saw what a great mother my daughter will be to her children! I had the torture of seeing my daughter lose her teenage years, if this were real. I felt the pain of life's lessons.
Timing is everything. I pray that the values I have instilled in my daughter will guide her in her choices. I pray that she will align her life with biblical principles and have a perfect life. As much as I want these things for my daughter, I know she will make mistakes. I just hope the mistakes she makes will not alter her life and steal her dreams.
Parents talk to your children about sex. Share with them the consequences of such a choice. Not just getting pregnant, but sexually transmitted diseases. Really let them know how precious they are and the importance of saving themselves for their spouse. It sounds old fashioned but sex can be pure and sacred in the unity of marriage.
Empowered Peace is learning to wait for treasured moments, and teaching your children the value of waiting for adult experiences.
photo via: gchosp.org
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