The Right to Be Gay?- Gay People and The Church

I became a Christian in my late twenties.  It was a life changing experience that continues to heal, transform and Empower me.  As I have matured I have come to understand a major distinction between the church (the physical structure), the church (the body of Christ) and being a Christian (a spiritual journey led by Jesus Christ).

The church as a physical structure is where Christians gather to worship, fellowship and hear the gospel preached.  It can be a very inspirational place, but if you are different, it can become a very hateful place.  I have had the experience of knowing how both feel.  This has given me a deeper compassion for those that are rejected by the churches they attend, especially gays.  God has used the chaplaincy to open my heart. 

As a chaplain I learned to have an acceptance of people that are different from me.  Before my chaplaincy education, clinical work and hospital employment I was a cruel, judgmental Christian.  Whenever someone had a problem I would say, "all you need is Jesus."  I made this statement without real understanding.  My words were offensive to many and my belief that I was better than non-Christians had to turn many off.  The chaplaincy taught me to remove myself from the equation of others lives.  I became able to walk with others in their despair when I dealt with my own demons. 

When people come to church they are looking for a way to make life better.  They usually have been beat down by the world and are unable to find any other way to ease their pain.  They  look to God and yearn for His healing love to sooth their fears and anxiety.  Most have an expectation that the loving people of God will welcome them with open arms.  Instead what many find is a list of rules and a cold shoulder when they reveal their personal struggles.  Where is the love?

Gay People and The Church

The one thing I have learned in this sometimes hateful and cruel world is love is precious.  Telling a gay person to leave the person they love because it is a sin is cruel.  The message most Christians send to gay people is you are defective and all you need to do is read your Bible, go to church and pray continually to be straight.  Lisa Ling's "Pray the Gay Away" gave an interesting insight into the dynamics of gay, church and Christian interactions.

I believe God's best for me is the union of man and woman, but this fact does not drive me to shun, criticize and judge gay people.  I must admit there was a time in my spiritual journey when I believed being gay was a perversion.  I thought men and women that engaged in sexual acts with people of the same sex did it because they decided to experiment.  I had no understanding of gay love or a gay person's real attraction to the same sex.  I thought they were just sick people that acted out to be rebellious to God.  I unfairly lumped them in a category of sexually promiscuous people. 

I know sexually promiscuous people exist, gay and straight, but that is a different subject.  I am talking about gay people that are seeking a loving relationship and want to be monogamous.  Why is the church asking them to deny the core of their being?  In my life I have tried to be what others wanted but it never worked!  Why would the church and society as a whole expect this of a person who is gay? 

I have another confession.  I am not comfortable with public displays of openly gay affection.  Guess what?  That is my problem!  It is not the responsibility of a gay person to make me feel okay.  I am in control of my own thoughts and feeling, the same as you. 

It is not the churches responsibility to turn gay people straight.  The churches responsibility is the deliver the message of God, love and help others heal as they themselves heal.  I do not believe any man is perfect enough to 'fix' another.  I believe a lifestyle can be displayed and others will follow if it is attractive. 

People Struggling with Their Sexuality

There are many people struggling with their sexuality.  Some people are gay and want to be straight.  There are some straight people that want to be gay.  People are changing their sex all together with surgery and hormones.  Many different factors play into the confusion these people try to untangle.  People that are unsure of their sexual orientation suffer with an enormous amount of internal conflict.  These people come to church seeking refuge from their pain and many times find rejection and judgment.  "If you are unable to be like us in a certain amount of time it is your fault."  This leads to people living lies once again.  Desperately wanting to be accepted, but once again finding themselves lost.

My message is simply love. Love people along their paths and allow them the space to change as they see fit.  Allow God the ability to interact with a person's soul and renew them according to His will.  If a person is gay, why deny them the right to love.  Living a life of celibacy should be a personal choice, not imposed because a person is gay.  If gay people are to live lives without ever being able express romantic love, liars should not be able to speak.  Backstabbers should have to live in isolation and adulterers should never be allowed to remarry. 

If a person is gay, why should they have to change to make everyone else comfortable?  There are a lot of really bad people that the church could focus on.  Like the insensitive church people that drive people to suicide and away from God.  

Our America with Lisa Ling- "Pray the Gay Away."

photos via: wolvturnedon.blogspot.com, equalitybritain.co.uk, liveoffmusicnow.blogspot.com, confused-honest-young-boy.blogspot.com via Google images

Me and My Dad- The Relationship That Shapes You

I speak to my dad at least once a day!  I am grateful because my dad is 84 years old and still able to walk, talk and think clearly.  I did not realize I had another significant reason to be grateful until this week. 

I was talking to my dad on the phone and it just so happened that I had a friend over.  I was telling my dad I love you and insisting he not give me money.  As I was having this ordinary conversation, I looked at my friend and saw an emptiness in her eyes.  Then I remembered her dad was not there for her.  She was raised by her mother and continually disappointed by her dad.  I felt a moment of shame for telling my dad I loved him when I saw the gaze in her eyes.  That's when I realized the special gift I have because my dad cares.

I began to think of all of my other friends, co-workers, patients and acquaintances.  Many of them do not have relationships with their dads.  Their dads had re-married, beat their mothers, ran off with other women, sexually abused them or just missing in action.  Some of these people I know suffer from an emptiness and sense rejection that is difficult to heal. 

They have to live with the knowledge of someone that gave them life contributed nothing but pain to their existence.  I wonder if they look at strangers and think- is that my dad?  I wonder how different their lives would have been if their dads cared.  I wonder what the distance is between wholeness and brokenness? 

Now that I have come to this realization what does it mean for me?  Should I give extra compassion to those without dads?  Should I automatically assume a person is broken because their dads were absent?  Should I feel shame or guilt for having a dad that loves me?
 

Conclusions 

You were not responsible for choosing your dad.  God designed and designated each person a specific dad according to His purpose.  He knew what certain people would endure.  He also knew the potential each dad had to shape His creation.  It becomes the responsibility of each individual to use all of the good, the bad and the foul ugliness to become their best self. 

It is not easy walking through the pain of yesterday, but it has the ability to make today incredible.  Always remember you are not what anyone has done to you!  You are what God created you to be, now be courageous and become what God intended.  You have been set up for greatness! 

photos via: depressivedisorder.blogspot.com, mydoctor.daiserpermanente.org via Google images

Reese Witherspoon- Empowers Women with Jewelry

Resse Witherspoon, actress, global ambassador and honorary chair for the Avon Foundation for Women, is helping fight domestic violence with a $10 bracelet.  100% of the net profits go to the foundation.  

 If you are unable to view this video follow this link

Abuse hurts, if you can help a woman Empower herself and look good while doing it, why not?  You can find an Avon representative by calling 1-800-FOR-AVON or by visiting www.avon.com
photo and video via: Avon Foundation for Women

The Power of Correct Thinking- Start with Your Imagination

My spiritual journey has led me to analyze the power of my thinking.  This concept is not new to me, but the depths of this creative principle have become astoundingly real.  This has been an awaking for me through my spiritual purification.

I realized I still had a deep rooted victim mentality that rotted and poisoned my experiences and relationships.  I felt powerless in many work situations and gave my power over to people that wanted to do me harm.  I blamed others over and over again for treating me cruelly and making my life miserable.  But when I decided to let go of being a victim, I had to hold myself accountable for the bad things in my life as well.  This epiphany by no means excuses abusive people for acting inappropriately and sometimes illegally.  What it does is hold me accountable for allowing the behavior to continue.

People that have been abused or that have experienced trauma have their imaginations poisoned.  If these dark fears and bad expectations are not properly dealt with continuous abuse is likely to occur.  The bad outcomes and bad relationships stem from a continuous mental movie of negative expectations.  As humans we are led in the direction of our beliefs, and we think and imagine in the direction of our beliefs.

Have you ever been daydreaming about your future and find yourself feeling afraid?  This is what usually happens.  Let's use a fictional character named Ruth.  Ruth is a 36 year old female that dreams of getting a college degree, working as an administrator and owning her own business on the side.  Currently Ruth is a clerk at K-Mart and takes classes here and there.

Ruth is extremely intelligent but often finds herself in bad situations.  She has had abusive boyfriends, bad bosses, back stabbing friends and accumulating debt.  No matter how hard she fights she ends up with the short end of the stick and she believes she is a loser.  Each time she dreams of success she imagines obstacle after obstacle blocking her path.  She does not think she is worthy and allows others to push her around.  Ruth's life is not going to change until she believe in herself and her ability to succeed.  She definitely has everything it takes to accomplish her dreams, but lacks the faith in her own existence.  

Ruth's life will not change until she believes she deserves better.  Your life will not change until you decide you can really do and be better.  Sometimes it takes an extraordinary event to bring this change about or you can use the power of correct thinking. 

The most important thing I want to leave you with is your imagination.  You have the ability to create a success in your mind or a failure.  Which one do you really want?  You have the power to imagine beyond your obstacles and live out your dreams in reality.  Taking control of your mind and imagination is Empowering and can bring about real change. 

If you can not see this video, view it on the website using this link

photos via: faqs.org, topnews.ae via Google images

"Working on Monday"- Off Day

Hi everyone!  Today has been a very good day!  I took the day off, but I will have another "Working on Monday" coming next week. 

Until next Monday...

Decision Making- Researching Your Choices

Making good decisions requires research!  Yes even the simple things in life, like buying dishes, picking party planners and buying a new cell phone.  The more information you have, the less likely you will be outwitted.  I tend to jump into situations and figure things out as I go along.  This patten has cost me many emotional, spiritual, financial and physical tribulations. 

I felt that if I did not jump at an interesting offer, I would lose out.  How wrong I have been.  It is more important to make informed decisions.  I could have avoided many years of needless pain and foolishness.  The bottom line, when you want to do things right, you do the research!

Researching your choices significantly slows down the pace of living.  It also delays the excitement of getting new things.  The trade off of losing these aspects of fast living are more solid investments that give long term happiness. 

Take a look at your life.  How many current situations are you navigating based on little or no research?  How much stress are these decisions causing you?  How many things are you fixing or changing?  How much money are you spending due to impulsive whims?  How many times have you said, if I had of known then, what I know now, I would have done things differently?  If you can answer any of these questions affirmatively it may be time to make some changes.

Some of the benefits of an informed decisions are:

1. Peace!
2. Organization
3. Long-term happiness
4. Less regrets
5. A better chance of having financial stability
6. A sense of accomplishment
7. You will hear a lie and avoid making foolish decisions
8. You become an example for your children, co-workers, family and other people in your circle

It is not too late to turn bad situations around or simply let them go.  Do research on your current situations and make them work for you, instead of against you.  Tell people you need time to think before you make a decision.  If they are pressuring you or you are feeling pressured step away and find the information you need.

An Empowered life is an informed life based on good research! 
photo via: flattlang.com, njpaccoop.org

Let Your Dreams Create Your Budget- Money Does Not Determine Your Destiny!

It does not take a bank full of money to live an Empowered life.  It takes a spirit that yearns to express its passion and the courage to embody the fullness of your existence.  Finding something that propels you to overcome financial obstacles is a great indication you found your passion. 

I heard the inspirational story of Dani Johnson yesterday.  She was a homeless teen that started a business out of the trunk of her car.  She demonstrated that her dream was bigger than her bank account.  Tyler Perry is another person that overcame homelessness and allowed his dream to direct his course.  He invested his life savings only to lose it.  This unfortunate tragedy still did not deter his yearning to produce plays.  These examples illustrate how the ignited momentum of a dream can overcome the limitations of an empty bank account.

How many of you have stopped dreaming because you allowed cash flow to dictate your destiny?  It is not cash that makes your dream, it is your dream that makes the cash!  When a person has a made up mind to win, no obstacle seems too impossible. 

Each person with breath in their lungs has something special to share.  Including you!  The constraints of limited funds can make you believe your dream is done, but the reality is, a limited budget can fuel your movement towards success.  Bad credit does not have to deter you either!  If you have a solid plan, many people will be willing to invest in your future.

It is important to change your perspective and use situations like limited or no funds work for you!  Here are some things to think about.

1. Focus on where you want to be, not on where you are at.  If your attention is on the glory of your dreams, you are more likely to make decisions today, to get you there tomorrow.  
2. Write a plan!  Putting your hopes and dreams in writing seals them in reality.  You will have a tendency to realign your life towards your goals.  You will become creative and think of innovative ways to make your dreams happen.
3. Get serious!  The things you nurture in life become the biggest things in your life.  For example, if you nurture your bad luck, by thinking and talking about it all the time, you are more likely to have bad luck.  Begin to think about, see and act upon opportunities.  They are all around you!  Yes, even you!
4. How much will it cost?  Begin to write down how much it will cost you to achieve your dream.  What are the things you need to reach your goal?  When you have an active knowledge of where you are going and what it will cost, miraculous things happen.  You begin to make better decisions and find resourceful ways to make money.  Suddenly waiting tables is not humiliating when there is a clear determined end.
5. Be patient!  As you begin to work towards your dream, be patient.  Getting a clear idea, plan and way to finance your endeavor can take time.  If you have to get there before the end of the day you will give up before the real work begins.  Every person that has made it from nothing, made it on patience.
6. Use your imagination wisely.  Set aside some time to visualize your dream.  Every person that has made it to a great goal, spent a lot of time day dreaming!  They pictured how the future would be when their dream was fulfilled.  They thought about the people they would meet and the words they would say.  The saw the clothes they would wear and they solved problems in their fantasies.  God gave us an imagination, use it for good.

I believe dreams can come true and I believe your dreams are only as real as you make them.  Re-kindle your fading expectations and watch your bank account follow!