Me and My Dad- The Relationship That Shapes You

I speak to my dad at least once a day!  I am grateful because my dad is 84 years old and still able to walk, talk and think clearly.  I did not realize I had another significant reason to be grateful until this week. 

I was talking to my dad on the phone and it just so happened that I had a friend over.  I was telling my dad I love you and insisting he not give me money.  As I was having this ordinary conversation, I looked at my friend and saw an emptiness in her eyes.  Then I remembered her dad was not there for her.  She was raised by her mother and continually disappointed by her dad.  I felt a moment of shame for telling my dad I loved him when I saw the gaze in her eyes.  That's when I realized the special gift I have because my dad cares.

I began to think of all of my other friends, co-workers, patients and acquaintances.  Many of them do not have relationships with their dads.  Their dads had re-married, beat their mothers, ran off with other women, sexually abused them or just missing in action.  Some of these people I know suffer from an emptiness and sense rejection that is difficult to heal. 

They have to live with the knowledge of someone that gave them life contributed nothing but pain to their existence.  I wonder if they look at strangers and think- is that my dad?  I wonder how different their lives would have been if their dads cared.  I wonder what the distance is between wholeness and brokenness? 

Now that I have come to this realization what does it mean for me?  Should I give extra compassion to those without dads?  Should I automatically assume a person is broken because their dads were absent?  Should I feel shame or guilt for having a dad that loves me?
 

Conclusions 

You were not responsible for choosing your dad.  God designed and designated each person a specific dad according to His purpose.  He knew what certain people would endure.  He also knew the potential each dad had to shape His creation.  It becomes the responsibility of each individual to use all of the good, the bad and the foul ugliness to become their best self. 

It is not easy walking through the pain of yesterday, but it has the ability to make today incredible.  Always remember you are not what anyone has done to you!  You are what God created you to be, now be courageous and become what God intended.  You have been set up for greatness! 

photos via: depressivedisorder.blogspot.com, mydoctor.daiserpermanente.org via Google images