Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Isolation of Being Rejected by Your Own Race

Prejudice exists within minority groups towards their own races.  The most famous person to experience such discrimination is Whitney Huston.  She was rejected by many African-Americans because they viewed as "not black enough" during the 1989 Soul Train Music Awards.  Ironically this is the year she met her future husband Bobby Brown.  I speculate that Whitney felt she needed Bobby to get her soul card validated.  This event is a great example of the pressure felt to be accepted within one's own race.

A person can become offended by their own nationality based on stereotypes, wanting acceptance from other race groups and personal insecurities.  I often ask myself would Whitney have taken such a drastic turn if she felt love from within her own race. 

Things are becoming more complicated within The African-American race.  As more generations of African-Americans experience lifestyles within suburban communities the self-definition of blackness is blurring.  The same events are happening within Arabic and Indian families.  As multiple generations are raised in the American culture, traditions are becoming less important. 

What is the right amount of culture a minority needs to be accepted as genuine?  Who defines blackness or the real meaning of being a Latino?  These are important questions that need to be answered within individual nationalities, families and individuals.  Without solid answers or the relinquishing of these restrictive boundaries people will continue to feel this pressure. 


As a minority I feel rejecting others based on cultural difference within a race is detrimental.  There are numerous obstacles minorities face based on race.  Why create another one from within?  This is a form of internal genocide and eternal stagnation.  A person cannot excel if they are forced to conform to society's standard.  It is even more crippling to feel torn between self (singular) and self (plural group identity).  It is a stifling blow to one's Empowerment when a denial of one's self is inflicted for fear of group rejection. 

Minorities have predominately been subjected to the mentality of majority race(s).  The typical majority views a minority as subservient and themselves as superior.  The desire of minorities wanting to be accepted by the majority race has led to self-hated.  Even worse when a minority is accepted by the majority it causes jealously and rejection towards that individual.  The only problem with this illusion is the racism that individual experiences from both sides.  The majority and the minority refuse to fully accept this individual and they are left isolated and unsure in the middle. 

Biracial people feel the same dualism.  They are penalized for embracing part of their identity.  To live an Empowered Life it is crucial to fully accept yourself despite the acceptance or rejection of one's own race. 
photos via: theaterboy.typepad.com, gracegram.com, britishblogs.co.uk via Google images.

Monday, January 3, 2011

"Working on Monday"- Networking in Business with Success

Networking is a connecting tool used by the most powerful business people in the world.  It brings ideas and resources together and solidifies many respectable careers.  The State of Michigan recognizes the brilliance of networking and consistently creates opportunities for workers and employers to interact.


The most famous networking happened on season 10 of The Apprentice with Donald Trump.  David Johnson from Portage, Michigan was a tough competitor.  He famously called "Marvin," the automated unemployment center, for financial check-in during an important task.  David's tough job interview with Trump allowed him to network with some of the most influential business minds in the world.  David is now running a successful business of his own.  His television exposure infused new life into his prior business connections and generated viable customers.  "It's a double edged sword," he said.  "I've had customers tell me, they don't won't to do biz with me and those who are curious about bringing me in (AOL jobs)."



Michigan Works! Interview
 
Michigan Works! the agency that facilitates many programs for unemployed workers, offered a wealth of advice in an interview, a few weeks back.  I sat down with Linda Gierlack a Business Services Field Representative, John Johnson and Robert McDonnell, Business Service Representatives, respectively.  Their insight into employer expectations and expertise in networking generated invaluable information for anyone looking to impress a perspective employer or make crucial business connections.

The Interview

How do you define networking?
Networking is connecting unused and/or underused people and resources.  Some of the most overlooked opportunities in networking  are within a person's own sphere of influence.  The first line of networking should happen with past employers, friends and neighbors. 
What are the different types of networking opportunities available?
Formal networking- connecting with professionals in your field.  This can happen at events and other organized venues.
Informal networking- talk to former co-workers and former customers.  There is not a reason to be ashamed of your current employment status.  Make sure you position yourself.  Positioning yourself means you are not just taking, it means you have the ability to give.  Good communication skills allow you to have back and forth dialogue, it is essential.
Social Media- Websites such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter can be powerful virtual connections to potential employers.  It is difficult to replace face to face meetings, but social media has the potential to drive personal meetings. 
What are the main objectives a person should have when networking?
You must know your personal and professional goals.  This will guide your choices and identify the "right people" in your field.  It is important to develop an elevator speech and be able to articulate your skills.  You should never underestimate the potential of any conversation.  Be prepared with resumes, business cards and a great attitude.  
Who attends networking events?
People come together with common interests.  For example, human resource people come together to learn new laws.  If your career goals include HR, these events would be important to attend.  It is important to remember these events are not always labeled as "networking."  
What should you take to a networking event?
Your brand!  As perspective employees your brand is just as important as Donald Trump's or Kim Kardashian.  Their brands are well defined as well as broad.  Trump capitalizes on wealth and luxury, while Kardashian embraces beauty and sexuality.  You should know what you represent.  For example: quality, dependability, loyalty or team work.  Your brand is communicated in your dress, resume, business card and conversation.  Do not take anything for granted be prepared to talk about your skills, your ability to deliver services and most importantly, be prepared to listen.  Other things that come in abundance when you are seeking a job and/or making connections are objections and rejection.  Be prepared to handle no, it is not personal, it is just a part of the process.  
What should you do if you are undermined in a conversation?
Networking should take place in a relaxed environment.  However, the competitive nature of human beings can sometimes provoke tension.  If someone tries to hoard a conversation or make themselves look good at your expense, go talk to someone else; then come back and finish your conversation later.  If you feel your name or reputation is being compromised, defend yourself without leaving a bad impression.  This same plan of action can work with ex sabotaging co-workers or supervisors.  Unfortunately some people are only happy when they cause others pain. 
At the close of our interview I asked each of the Michigan Works! experts for closing advice.  Here are the last thoughts of an inspiring interview:

Linda Gierlack: "Stay positive!"  "A positive attitude can take you a long way."

John Johnson: "Build your own brand!" "Brand building is imperative, along with a personal mission statement."

Robert McDonnell: "Get out of the house!"  "It is easy to use the computer for job applications, but nothing beats personal contact."

My Final Thoughts

Networking is an activity that takes place daily, many times it is viewed as having small talk, being polite or passing time.  These misconceptions allow important professional connections to fail.  It is important to be aware of the potential conversations generate.  This extra energy put into focus, dialogue and thoughts can make a difference in the success of your career.  In other words, always be prepared.

Everything here, is a personal opinion of the writer and is not read or edited
for content or approved by Michigan Works! before it is posted. No warranties or
guarantees are made as to the quality or reliability of the opinions and statements or
anything else offered on this Blog.”
And Blog entries posted by non-Michigan Works! employees are not published by the
Organization. Michigan Works! has no control over these postings, does not endorse them,
and makes no warranties or guarantees as to the quality or reliability of the opinions and
statements offered by non-Organization employees on this Blog.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Enduring Tough Times When All Hope is Gone

How much can one person take?  Sometimes it seems that life is on a mission to destroy any happiness a person can experience.  Broken relationships, broken bank accounts, broken children, broken hearts and broken promises seem to be the only news coming in the mail and calling on the phone.  Plans for the future seem to be crumbling and betrayal sleeps with you at night as you try to escape pain in the comfort of your dreams.  But your dreams become nightmares and sleep refuses to sing a comforting lullaby.

The worse part is everyone around seems to be doing just fine.  They are planning for their futures, enrolling their children in college, buying new homes, cars and clothes.  They say be strong or have faith in God.  The only problem is hope is lost and the excruciating pain of life is crushing any faith in God's goodness.  New Year's resolutions, positive affirmations, meditation and even church are unable to penetrate the doom of another day.

How do you endure life when it seems to spit on you and your family?  One step at a time, one moment at a time, one tear at a time.  Sad and seemingly unfair times come upon everyone.  Being in the midst of turmoil is an often lonely place.  It is important to remember there are many people suffering.  You are note alone, even though it seems no one in the world can relate to your troubles.  Many are drudging through another day hoping for an end to their pain.


To minimize this type of pain is disrespectful.  To say it will okay is rude, what is okay about being screwed by life.  Having someone listen without judgment, this is sometimes the only relief a person can find.

To those of you feeling this level of pain, I say to you please hold on.  Please know that even if you have lost faith in God, He waiting for you when you are ready.  This season of life is sure to pass, hold on and take this message as hope reaching out.  The winter's of life are cold and rough, but the summer's of life are waiting for you.

Be strong on the days you can and fight your battles with integrity.
 


photos via: servingstrong.typepad.com, jameslaylon.wordpress.com

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A Fresh Start to The New Year- Try Forgiveness

 The New Year is here and an opportunity for a fresh start has presented itself!  A fresh start does not necessarily mean completely stopping your old activities and starting new ones.  It can also mean forgiving yourself and approaching life with a new perspective.

A fresh perspective feels light and gives you joy.  It allows you to let go of fear and move through your life unencumbered.  You feel worthy of your true purpose in life and powerful enough to conquer life's challenges.  The start of a New Year creates a positive atmosphere for forgiveness.  Here are some Empowering thoughts on forgiveness.
  1. Punishing yourself for past mistakes is counter productive.  Punishment is a form of restraint.  It helps control destructive people from themselves and/or others.  Acknowledging your error and doing something different is enough.  If you are unable to change a certain pattern get help to move forward.  Punishment allows you to stay stuck.
  2. Forgiveness is a gift from God.  God gave humanity a way to unload heavy burdens.  Wallowing in self pity is a negative way to get sympathy.  It is true that support helps to heal open emotional wounds, but rallying the proper support is more beneficial.
  3. Life causes enough pain, you do not have to create your own.  Life's events can cause a sting that sometimes lasts for years.  To punish yourself for mistakes can make life unbearable from additional unnecessary burdens. 
Let's start 2011 Empowered by self-forgiveness!
photos via: psdgraphics.com, shawn.wordpress.com via google images

Friday, December 31, 2010

Healthy Eating- Getting Back on Track with Holiday Leftovers!

Christmas was full of yummy rich food this year.  It was my plan to continue on the American Heart Association Heart Smart Plan, but tradition won.  The holiday menu consisted of turkey breast, Cornish hens, meatloaf, prime rib, king crab legs, lobster, macaroni and cheese, ambrosia salad, corn, potato salad, macaroni salad, garlic bread and Pepsi!  Not to mention the turtle cookies, chocolate chip cookies and coconut cream pie, Yikes!

I thought one day of indulgence would not hurt, but I forgot about the leftovers!!!!  I sent people away with large plates of food, but the refrigerator remained filled to capacity.  I had no choice but to eat!  I enjoyed every bit but my healthy eating was interrupted.  All of the rich, fattening food is gone, but I still have leftover turkey and prime rib.   Here is a turkey breast salad recipe I put together:
  
Empowered Turkey Salad
At least 1 cup: Cube your leftover turkey breast (if it is a whole turkey include dark meat)
1/4 cup thinly diced white onion
1/3 cup Ocean Spray Craisins, dried cranberries
One chopped apple
1/4 unsalted walnuts
plain yogurt or Miracle Whip to desired consistency of turkey salad

*mix all of these ingredients in a bowl and enjoy on wheat bread!

Here is a great recipe from SparkRecipes for my leftover prime rib. 
Leftover Prime Rib with Pasta Recipe

I am back on track and looking forward to 2011! 
photo via: weightlosshelp24h.com via Google images

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Stalkers Know how to Use Your Cell Phone to Spy on You- Protect Your Privacy

Living an Empowered life is difficult if not impossible when you are being stalked.  Stalking is becoming increasingly technical and scary!  I have been the victim of a sophisticated stalker.  They hacked my computer and used more traditional means of harassing me and knowing my personal information.  It is extremely difficult if not impossible to catch these people.  When I had a key-logger found on my computer, it seemed the perpetrator had more rights than me.  My bank refused to give the ip address of the hacker that looked at my account.  The police and Microsoft said that what was happening to me was highly unlikely!

It was a helpless feeling!  The latest run in with this stalker took place in copying my wardrobe and hairstyles.  My stalker knew what clothes I was wearing and changed their hair to look like mine.  It was such a creepy feeling and I could not figure out how they knew my every move.  They knew my conversations and daily activities.  It was very painful when people took the side of my stalker and believed I was imitating them.  This is the lie my stalker told and I did not have any way to defend myself.  It was humiliating and cost me my job. 

I have just discovered a highly likely way they stalked me.  Not only did they hack my computer, but I believe they tapped my cell phone.  Take a look at these videos (if you are reading this post via e-mail, you may have to go directly to the website to see these videos www.empoweredpeace.org)







I was completely oblivious to this type of technology.  Your privacy is always at risk!  It seems that honest people do not think about these things.  The bad guys who prey upon us are educated in these areas.  

In my situation the thing that amazed me the most...other people helped my stalkers.  Either they were manipulated into participating, they were told false information to make them think I was worth harassing or they were corrupt.  I can not imagine what would make a person help someone harm another.  Blackmail?  I guess the message is, your privacy is not your own and people will help your stalker.

I have not yet been able to convict my stalker.  For a long time I was afraid to say anything.  I thought people would not believe me.  I thought they would think I was crazy.  Now I do not care what people think.  I tell people that I may be being stalked or I share my past experience when I think it is necessary.  My stalker targeted my professional life.  It sucks to have your lively hood jeopardized.  I have a family to support and my income seems to be in the hands of someone that hates me.

I continue to find ways to take my life back but it is very difficult.  For all I know they are still watching me and reading this post as I prepare it for you.  I pray that the situation is over and my stalker has stopped following me of their own free will.  If not and evidence of their illegal behavior arises again, I will not be as intimidated. 

The latest story in the news is a man that will possibly be convicted for reading his wife's emails.  If he is prosecuted it could mean a lot for victims of Internet crimes.  I encourage you to report activities to authorities and get the services of a private investigator.  I did not do all of things I am suggesting to you because I was ignorant and intimidated.  This is how the stalker wins.  The more Empowered you become, the less you fear the abuser, the more capable you are of fighting back!

photos via: worldvillage.com and blackberrysync.com via google images. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Empowered Peace's 10 Most Influential People of 2010

2010 has been an amazing year!  I have made many great accomplishments and suffered some significant losses.  2010 has also been filled with people that have influenced my life, America and some even the world.  Here is a list of Empowered Peace's 10 most influential people of 2010.  

One (1)
God.  This year God has allowed me to rethink my relationship to the world and opened up a deeper meaning to the Bible.  The power of His word is more powerful than I ever understood or can ever understand.  
 Alexis and Eddie Mae Ware
Two (2)
Eddie Mae Ware.  This is the woman that gave birth to me, raised me and died of Alzheimer's disease.  Mrs. Ware is the true epitome of a lady.  Even in her darkest hour she was graceful and generous.  This woman believed in me, when I could not believe in myself.  

Three (3)
Alexis Shawntea Ware.  Alexis is my daughter and dearest friend.  She encouraged me when I was down and has been a constant inspiration for my life.  I love her dearly.

Four (4)
Richard Blanchard Ware.  This is the most dedicated man I have ever known.  He was loyal to my mother till the day she died and worked like a dog to support our family.  Without my dad's support I would not be here today.

Five (5)
Patients, families and others that I have served.  I have been able to minister to some wonderful people in their times of need.  You gave me a reservoir to pour out my love and share the love of God.  These amazing people created a space for God to use my gifts and talents.  I love you all!

Mark Zukerberg

Six (6)
Mark Zuckerberg.  I opened my Facebook account in 2010 and it has changed my life.  I was able to connect to old friends and make new ones.  I have been able to share my blog and be connected to the world in a new way.  Facebook allows me to connect with people even when I am in the privacy of home.

Sergey Brin and Larry Page
Seven (7)
Sergey Brin and Larry Page.  Every time I have a question or need some assisstence I Google it!  I can not think of many days in 2010 that I have used Google.

Evan Williams

Eight (8)
Evan Williams.  The inventor of Blogger and Twitter.  Technology has had a major impact on my year.  I have been able to share my ministry on the Internet and touch the lives of thousands of people.  

Barack Obama
Nine (9)
Barack Obama.  It is still beyond belief that we an African American president.  President Obama's election into The White House challenges me to rethink what being black in this world really means.  His presence in 2010 is not any different.

Oprah Winfrey
Ten (10)
Oprah Winfrey.  Oprah is such an incredible woman.  2010 is the last year of the Oprah talk show but she is launching her own network.  Oprah continues to evolve and she inspires me to grow.  

This is the Empowered Peace top 10 of 2010.  Who has touched your life?
photos via: shockya.com, redherring.com, images.businessweek.com, topnews.com.sg, forbes.com via google images.
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