"Working on Monday" Part 7- Transition to Depth and Understanding of the Workplace

It is a transitional time for "Working on Monday."  We have done some amazing work by executing the action plans I created.  Let's review:

1. Write down where you want to be in the next twenty-five years.  
2. (a) Pick five companies you want to work for- research their history and culture. (b) Research the lifestyle you want to live in twenty-five years.  
3. Join an organization (your church does not count).
4. Press, do not quit!
5. Set and write down your short term goals- one month, 6 months, 3 years.
6. Write out your work history in an autobiographical form.
7. Reflect on the information you have compiled in action plans one through six.
8. Create actual steps to reach your long and short term goals.
9. Think about the competition- how are you going to rise above and overcome them?
10. Make note of how you spend your time for three or four days.
11. Review your time journal and make a schedule.
12. Stick to your schedule.
13. Organize your work autobiography into short memorable phrases. 
14. Get a personal calling card.
15. Strike up conversations everywhere and be prepared to speak about yourself in a professional and positive manner.

Now we are going to take a deeper look at the workplace and how it operates.  The above steps are preparation for the workplace, but you also have to be prepared to function in the workplace. Topics such as human resources, discrimination, networking, politics and office etiquette will be covered.  In addition to these discussions, small business subjects will also be examined for entrepreneurs.

There may be more action plans, but we will revisit the above action plans and get a full understanding of how they fit into the workplace environment. 

This transition presents you with another opportunity to complete and/or revise your action plans.  Remember you are growing and your plans should be revised to reflect your growth. 

Until next Monday...

An Empowered Woman's Gratitude on Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!  Though it is not a religious holiday, it is revered with honor in American culture.  I have many things to be thankful for this season, but today I am most thankful for my power!  I am thankful for my truth. 

Many times I have fallen short in the face of opposition.  I have allowed lies, both written and spoken to circulate and attach themselves to my name.  I have allowed people to control my life and keep me in subservient positions.  I have allowed people to tear me down without a fight because I was afraid and unwilling to confront hate so intense that it had an odor.  For many years I thought it was right to allow people to say negative things behind my back.  I allowed rumors to circulate going unchecked and let unkind people interfere and destroy my relationships.  I thought I was being a 'good' person and silently died waiting for someone to rescue me.

I have had some dynamic teachers step in and encourage me during critical times.  I am sure it was their words along with my parent's unconditional belief in me that allowed me to endure excruciating abuse and unfair treatment.  Recent events have given me a new attitude.  I am claiming my authority and exercising my right to be me!

I must say, I have at times, made attempts to stick up for myself, but I always fell short along the way.  I allowed many things to intimidate my efforts and allowed humiliation to be my garment.  I allowed distorted images of me to be written in the history books of life.  I thank God I have always found a way to stand up and try again!

My inner strength to endure abuse, has become an external expression.  I am thankful that I have learned I can fight for myself.  There isn't anything wrong with having your own back.  This is my Empowered Peace!  I have fought for my daughter and my parents with unwavering determination.  Now I KNOW it is right to fight for myself with the same zeal. 

Life is not perfect.  There are always going to be situations that require courage and strength.  I may not win them all, but by God I intend to fight! The truth is only told when it spoken.  The truth is only known when it is revealed.  This Thanksgiving I am thankful I can speak.  I am thankful that I am not afraid to confront uncomfortable situations and speak the truth in the midst of lies.  I am thankful I fight for myself!

What gives you the ability to be thankful?
photo via gchosp.org

"Working on Monday" Part 6- Making Personal Connections and Introducing Yourself to the World

This week we are taking action!  We have gathered information about ourselves, dreams and goals.  Now it is time to share our discoveries!  I do not mean spelling out your dreams to everyone, remember, dreams are special and should be shared with caution.  I mean letting people know you are on the market and what you can do for them.  It is time to make personal connections and introduce yourself to the world.  The people you strike up conversations with in the grocery store could lead to your next job.

You could be talking to the wife of an executive, the son of an entrepreneur, a human resources representative looking to fill a position or someone that will refer you during a conversation with his friends.  These people all have something in common, it is called reach.  Reach also known as word-of-mouth advertising can work for you.  People generally want to help.  Word-of-mouth advertising is an easy way for people to participate in your journey.  You just need a message and a calling card!

I am Shy

I have leaned from my own personal experience.  If you are hungry and really want to make your dreams come true, you can overcome shyness.   This is a time for you to shine and let people know who you are and what you can accomplish.  It is not rude to speak of your strengths and strong work ethic.  This is what people need to know, they are putting trust in you to complete important tasks.  Let them know you are capable and the best person for the job!  Passion stimulates courage and gets the job done!

Action Step Twelve:
Organize your work autobiography from step 6, into small memorable phases. Here is an example of a conversation:
Monday: "Hi, how are you today?"
Stranger: "I am okay, just doing some shopping."
Monday: "Me too, I have been really watching my budget.  I have been unemployed for about 6 weeks."
Stranger: "That is too bad.  My son is looking for work, but has not had any luck."
Monday: "I need money to survive, but I miss comforting patients and families in their time of need more than anything.  I am a chaplain by trade, specializing in bereavement care and staff education."
Stranger: "My sister works for hospice.  She says the chaplains are wonderful.  Have you tried any hospices?
Monday: "Yes, it is very rewarding work. I worked closely with them in the hospital.  They have always done an amazing job."
Stranger: "I wonder if they need chaplains where my sister works?"
Monday: "Here let me give you my information.  I really appreciate your concern.  You can contact me anytime."
Stranger: "It was really nice meeting you Monday, I will be in touch."
Monday: "It was nice meeting you too. Have a great day!"

It is just that easy!  I would suggest role playing or talking in front of the mirror to practice.  You want to sound natural, but professional and knowledgeable.  Knowing how to articulate who you are and what skills you have to offer helps people take you seriously.

Action Step Thirteen:
Get a personal calling card.  Here are some great examples at Elizabeth Anne Designs.

Having a social calling card with pertinent information shows professionalism.  Everything you do communicates what you have to offer.  The way you dress, your hair, make-up, your speech and body language.  This does not mean you should change yourself.  If you are a cowboy, be the cleanest cowboy around.  If you are a fitness guru, where neat, matching fitness attire.  If you are a stay at home mom, where neat clothing, do your hair and make-up.  Show people you are worth their money, time and investment.  

Action Step Fourteen:
Practice often.  Strike up conversations everywhere and be prepared to talk about yourself is a professional and positive manner.

Even if your conversation does not lead to a business connection, you are letting the universe know you are ready.

Here is a great article by Chris Brogan: Presentation Tune-Ups.  An audience of one or two is just as important as hundreds.  Make sure people know you value them. 

photo credits: abstract-living.com, daromancejournal.com

How to Live When Someone You Love is Dying

My life stood still just a couple of weeks ago.  My mom's Alzheimer's disease dramatically advanced over night.  She was no longer able to walk, she was confused and unable to feed herself.  Trips to the emergency room and one hospital admission did not give my family any hope.  We were told the advanced stages of my mom's dementia, her age and over all condition, made her a poor surgery candidate.  Her options were limited: a nursing home or hospice, we elected hospice.  

The first days of hospice were surreal.  I could not believe in my heart my mom was dying.  My mind understood, and I knew the steps and formula well.  As a chaplain, I have been here with families hundreds of times, yet it was difficult to be there with my own family.  My mom could not be dying.  She is the matriarch of my family and the foundation that holds us all together.  Even though she lost her ability to boss us around, intrude in our lives and cook the best food in the state of Michigan she was still feisty and able to love us.

I dropped everything waiting for my mom to die.  Then something happened!  She started to smile.  She ate a couple of bites of food, and in a confused language of her own, she began to talk.  These moments are less than a fraction of what she was capable of before, but it was hope.  She is still unable to walk and feed herself, but life still seems to linger in her attitude.  She seems to have found a new home in her hospital bed.  Her new hobbies are sleeping and twisting the sheets.  I do not even know if she knows me, but she is very kind.  She says thank you when you change her and remains a lady.  She is modest because that southern bell ingrained in her DNA refuses to leave her naked.

These new signs of life have given me hope to continue with my own.  This is the first post I have written outside of the "Working on Monday" series.  I can not be responsible for the death of any one's dream, so I continued and will continue to write the "Working on Monday" series.

My mom's strength has given me courage to share and live again.  I can breath knowing that she remains.  I do not know how long she will be on earth with us.  I miss her beyond comprehension when I think of her death.  I do know, I must live while she is dying.  I am thankful that my mom knows how to love me, even when she does not know her own name.  Nothing is stronger than a mother's love.

Here are some ways to live, while someone you love is dying:

1. Try to see the winner in you, that they did.  People who love you see beyond your current conditions.  They encourage you to do more and speak of your talents and potential.  Think about all of the potential they saw in you and honor their ability to see the good in you.  Live up to their expectations and fulfill your dreams.  The people who love you sacrifice many things to help you succeed, let the things they passed by for you not be in vain.
2. Understand that death is a part of life.  We all have an appointed time on the earth.  Some of us are give 6 days, 6 months, 6 years, 36 years, 60 years, 86 years or 106 years.  The time is determined and inherent in our created being.  
3. It is okay to cry.  Tears are an expression of your soul.  Let the cleansing nature of your tears sooth your being.  Tears are normal, acceptable and heal in ways we do not understand.  
4. Forgive yourself.  You are not responsible for the death of your loved one.  We do not know how death will come.  It can come in the form of a tragedy, old age or a disease.  You may have said some unkind words or done even worse to your loved one who is dying.  We all say and do things, never expecting death to be the next event that brings you together.  If you knew things would have gone differently, but you did not know and now it does not matter.  Time forgets the mistakes of yesterday and so should you.
5. Function in the change.  When a loved one is sick and dying, life changes.  You may become a caregiver, you may have to do things that take time away from other activities, you may have to drop everything.  Manage the moment in front of you, to the best of your ability.  Cry through it, yell through it, crawl through it, be afraid through it or be courageous, but try not to avoid.  You can do what is necessary, even in your weakness.  
6. Say goodbye.  The ability to say goodbye is not always guaranteed.  If you have the ability to say goodbye, cherish it and take the time to say what is in your heart.  Saying goodbye is not going to make death come sooner.  Death comes in spite of your actions.  It works on a schedule beyond your control.  You can even say goodbye after your loved one has died.  It is the burden of your soul that needs to be expressed. 
7. Simply live. Death, dying and grieving are all a part of life.  They are uncomfortable times that cause a great deal of pain, but a real dimension of our existence.  Death and dying does not mean you have to punish yourself because you are still alive.  Live and laugh.  Sometimes you may wish you were the one dying or life seems unbearable without the ones you love,  though you will forever be changed it does not have to mean eternal devastation.  Eventually the confusion of death aligns itself with the the normalcy of life.  I am acknowledging the breath of life within you.  Please give yourself permission to live, it is okay.  One step and one moment at a time.

Accepting death is a part of Empowered Peace...
photo credit: Chaplain Donna

"Working on Monday" Part 5- Time Management Will Change Your Life

Welcome back to "Working on Monday!"  I have been unemployed for five weeks now.  It has been a  gradual transition.  Part of my former job was being on-call 24/7.  It was difficult if not impossible to make plans because a life threatening event could need my attention at any given time.  I found myself waiting for my pager to go off and suddenly remembering, hey, you do not work anymore, relax.  Working over sixty hours a week at all hours of the day and night and then suddenly being left with an open calendar has been a tough adjustment.  My life being released from such an unpredictable schedule is now in need of order.  Our topic this week, time management.

"Working on Monday" a Practical Perspective 

I have come to this conclusion, success is a lifestyle.  People try to lose weight going from diet to diet.  They only find success when they change the way they live.  Super star athletes are major competitors because they train, this is their lifestyle.  What happens when a person is addicted to drugs?  They live to get high!  Drug addiction is a lifestyle.  A lifestyle is built by the things we do with our time.  

Now that we are working with the assumption that success is a lifestyle, it is vital to remember what type of lifestyle we seek.  You can be successful at anything.  You can be a successful failure, loser and abuser.  Many times we do not even practice for the parts we play in life.  They are ingrained in us by life and our families of origin (Cattapan and Grimwade).
   
Action Plan 10:
Make note of how you spend your time for the next four days.  What time do you wake-up?  How much time do you spend watching television?

What do Successful People do with Their Time?

Time Magazine wrote an article able Nelson Mandela.  It celebrated his ninetieth birthday, by discussing his principles of leadership.  From this article I extrapolated how Nelson Mandela spent his time.

1. Inspiring others to participate in his cause.
2. Thinking about relevant events and circumstances
3. Planing 
4. Reading books of wisdom and instruction 
5. Meeting with his colleagues and discussing current events and topics that impacted his causes
6. Listening 
7. Learning about his enemy
8. Persuading people to support his ideas

 

Action Plan 11:
Look at how you spend your time.  Take out the unnecessary things and make a schedule.

Action Plan 12:
Stick to your schedule and only make changes that lead to success.     

"Working on Monday" a Spiritual Perspective

The book of Acts is the story of how the new covenant church began.  The church grew by thousands daily, but it was not without persecution and dedication.  In Acts chapters one and two, Jesus ascends into heaven and the disciples go to the upper room and prepare for the Holy Spirit.  The disciples were making a lifestyle change.  They had gone from the security of following Jesus to preparing for living the unknown.  This is what is happening to us.  You are leaving behind the familiar and grabbing hold of change to live out your dreams. 

Spiritual Lessons Learned from Acts 1 and 2

1.  Do not stand still looking into heaven waiting for Jesus to return.  Go prepare for your destiny.
2. Preparation involves prayer.
3. Action involves the Holy Spirit.
4. You will be able to speak to people that think and speak a different language.  For example you will be able to communicate with business people that specialize in different areas of expertise.
5. People will look for reasons to underestimate your excellence, but your words and conviction will win them over.
6. God will give you power and courage to do impossible things! 

Next week is a big week.  We are taking action!  Make sure you are caught up and ready to move!

References

Cattapan, O., & Grimwade, J. (2008). Parental Illicit Drug Use and Family Life: Reports From Those Who Sought Help. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 29(2), 77-87. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Time Magazine: Mandela- His 8 Lessons of Leadership

Stepcase Lifehack: Fifty Habits of Highly Successful People

The New York Times: How Different Groups Spend Their Time

"Working on Moday" Part 4- Raw Determination!

"Working on Monday" is not just about finding a job, it is about living your dream.  It takes courage to pursue what seems impossible.  It takes a raw determination to reach above the expectations of others and be true to yourself.  This is the core concept of Empowered Peace.  Honoring the creation God crafted and made you.

A reminder from last week, we are not going to have any new action plans this week.  This will be a week to complete and refine the tasks of the last three weeks.  As you approach these steps pay attention to your thoughts.  Immediately replace thoughts of defeat with positive affirmations.  You will have enough opposition, so be your own best friend!

This week I am going to talk about one of the driving forces you need to pursue your dreams, Determination.  Many great lives have been built with determination. The following clip is of Chris Gardner.  His inspirational story was captured in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, intentionally spelled incorrectly.  Mr. Gardner states the 'y' is for you and your dreams.  Listen to the following clip.

This video tells me we are doing the right thing at the right time.  It does not matter how crazy people think you are, it does not matter who does or does not believe in you and it does not matter who tries to sabotage your plans.  What does matter is the dream.  It is the time to make your dreams a reality.  It took gritty, raw determination for Chris Gardner to get his brokerage license while being homeless.  He had an unstoppable attitude that shaped his pristine work ethic.  You do not have any excuses not to succeed, only excuses to hold you in a life of crumbled yesterdays. 

Chris Gardner has some other advice to help you reach your goals.

1. "The Calvary isn't coming!" (words of wisdom from his mother)
2. "Baby steps count too!" (Rev. Cecil Williams, Founder of Glide, the homeless shelter where Chris Gardner stayed with his son)

As you complete and refine your goals know that you are not alone.  Your dream is your purpose, your career and the key to "Working on Monday."
photo via google images 

"Working on Monday" Part 3- The Strategic Planning Process of Achieving Your Goals

Welcome back to "Working on Monday!"  A lot of material has been covered over the past two weeks and if you are executing the actions plans the shape of your destiny is already  forming.  The focus of "Working on Monday" part three is  bringing things together and creating a strategic plan to achieve your goals. 

"Working on Monday" a Practical Perspective

I have learned about the workplace from the School of Hard Knocks.  My parents were not top business executives and never shared tips about being successful at work.  Their philosophy was get a 'good' job and go to work.  It seemed simple to them because they lived during a time of blue color heaven, but that utopia has gone straight to hell.  I did not have a mentor groom me for corporate success and show me how to move up the ladder.  I only had an inkling in my stomach that kindled a determination inside of me.  I always knew I was capable of more, but I was continually being knocked around like an inexpensive golf ball.  I had to  make a decision that those days were over!

The action plans thus far have been fact finding and information gathering exercises.  Now it is time to develop real steps to make your dreams a reality.  

Action Plan 7:
Reflect on the information that you compiled in action plans one to six.  What have your mistakes taught you?  What are your goals and work history telling you about yourself?

Here are some great definitions of Strategic planning, we are going to be working with this one: Strategic planning "determines the general direction and goals of the Society (in our case personal career) both the short and long term. Strategic planning considers the resources of the Society, the likely behavior of competitors, the direction and pace of technological change, and the projected demands of the marketplace (American Chemistry Society (c))." 

This definition can be very overwhelming but we are going to attack this one step at a time.  I have found that preparation leads to opportunity and "Working on Monday" is not just about returning to work, but living your dreams.  One step at a time you can be living your dreams.

Action Plan 8:
Create actual steps to get to your goals.  For example if one of your goals is being promoted in a year, what would you have to do to achieve this?  Take training classes, move to another company, get licensing or certification, memorize your future job description, actually plan how you are going to reach your goals.

Action Plan 9:
Think about your competition.  Let's go back to the promotion example. How many people are competing for the job?  How will your co-workers react to your new position?  How do you make yourself necessary?  How will you handle jealous people?  Adjust your plans accordingly.

This is a lot of work, but the benefits will change your life.  You will have two weeks to complete these action plans.  Do not get discouraged with the process, hang in there.

"Working on Monday" a Spiritual Perspective

Let's go back to Joseph, Genesis 40 and 41. Joseph was in prison because he was falsely accused of rape.  During his imprisonment two of Pharaoh's servants were placed in jail with Joseph.  They had dreams and Joseph was able to interpret their meaning accurately.  Joseph asked them to tell Pharaoh he helped them and have him removed from jail because he was innocent.  The servants forgot about Joseph until Pharaoh had a dream.  Joseph came before Pharaoh and explained the meaning of his dream.  There was going to be a great famine in the land of Egypt and Joseph told him to prepare during the seven prosperous years that would proceed the famine.  Pharaoh was impressed with the wisdom God gave Joseph.  He appointed him to lead the efforts to save Egypt from the famine.  Joseph went from prisoner to Pharaoh's second in command in one evening. 

Spiritual Lesson Learned from Genesis 40 and 41

1. Use your talents to help others even when you are down on your luck.
2. When you help someone they will give you a good recommendation. 
3. Good leaders will recognize God's blessing upon your work and will honor it with position and pay.
4. Be prepared for all situations, they will lead to your dream job.
5. Tough times do not last forever, have faith that things will change in God's time.

Additional Resources

Sklover Working Wisdom- excellent site with important information about the workplace

Corporate Warriors- strategy for corporate excellence

Vocational Information Center- information about careers and occupations

photos via google images and freepixels.com

Starbucks Coffee and a Book Give-a-Way!

New Give-a-Way!  Win a $12 gift card to Starbucks Coffee and a copy of the book "Bittersweet!" 

All you have to be is a member of Empowered Peace Facebook fan page!  The contest begins 11/1/2010 at 6am EST and ends 11/22/2010 6am EST.  To be a fan of Empowered Peace Facebook fan page just "like" the page by following this link.  All fan page members are eligible to win!

I will randomly choose 3 Empowered Peace Facebook fans, with the help of a contest judge.  That's it! 

Good Luck!
photo via (c) Starbucks.com