I'm a thirty-nine year old, divorced, single mom with two elderly parents. My mother gave birth to me when she was forty-two years old and my dad was forty-three. I was about twelve years old when I realized my parents were 'old.' This was the beginning many fearful years for me, I believed my parents would die soon. I always imagined they would die before I was done with school and I would be left alone. My concerns were foolish and self-centered because I never considered the effects of aging. I simply thought my parents would continue to live their lives: gardening, eating at restaurants, sitting on the porch, cooking, shopping, self-care and just die one day. My non-existent views of aging were quickly adjusted when my dad became ill and my mother wasn't able to care for him or herself. I decided right then my parents would never have to worry, I moved into their home, quit my job and became their caregiver. This worked for about a year then the realities of our society dictated alternative solutions for my family. My parents made too much money to receive state benefits, but not enough to support me and daughter. State benefits would have allowed them to hire me as their caregiver. I was forced to go back to work, but taking care of three dependent people, my two parents and a teenage daughter, was overwhelming. I Begrudgingly moved my parents to an independent/assisted living facility to meet their needs. 
I moved back to my home, began to re-focus on my daughter and pursuing my life's calling. I thought everything would be fine because my parents had everything they needed. This was another ignorant thought process, my parents continued to age and their needs continued to increase. I had to adjust their levels of care at their new home and somehow convince them that they needed the extra help. It has taken me years to understand the fullness of what growing old really means.
The experience of watching my parents age has been emotional, but I've learned many valuable lessons. The goal of this series is to let you know that you are not alone. The number of adults over 65 is expected to be 19% of the United States population by 2030. This has major implications for busy, broken and economically stretched families. Caregiving, healthcare costs, living arrangements and end-of-life decision making will become their responsibility. Educating yourself for the aging of your loved ones will help you prepare for thier increasing needs. It will also help you maintain a sense of spiritual well-being during the most difficult times of this natural process.
REFERENCE
Koenig M.D., Harold G., Douglas M. Lawson, Ph.D. and Malcolm McConnell. Faith in the Future, Healthcare, Aging, and The Role of Religion; Radnor, Pennsylvania: Templeton Foundation Press, 2004.
RESOURCES
No comments:
Post a Comment
Join the conversation!